I often find my self scrambling to create the illusion of stability and security. My animal brain moves me to this state. I think because it makes me comfortable and relaxed. The thing is that instability makes me more creative. I get tuned to look forthe angles, work out what I have to do to tget the most out of situations. Everyday there are tons of things that are possible but not explored. Stability doesn't like a challenge. Why follow a path that might make things worse? With any option you follow you need commmitment to follow it through.
I have options but to follow them I need to rock the boat, to risk what I have and jump with my eyes closed. For now I'm just standing on the edge looking down and wondering if I could fly. I can feel something like a clock ticking in my head going, jump now, you're still a young man. Tack some fucking risks with your life. When you were younger you tried everything that came your way (everything!) so why stop now. Soon you won't be able to make a leap because you will be too old..... Stupid little voice. It reminds me of the biological clock phenomina. Time's running out you need to act NOW, don't think just do. This is why beer is good, beer stops the brain.
anyway,
I went to pick up my mum at the hospital yesterday. It's all good now. She is fine. On the drive there I ended up stuck in the Queen's batton relay along corronation drive. It was a little surreal as it was really unexpected. (I've included a snap from my phone).
Second series of Lost starts tonight... wohoo.
Tags: life
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