Uncle Doo's House of Burlesque

Monday, February 27, 2006

Hi Internet

Hi Internet

It's been a while since I've posted anything in my blog. Life seemed to have a way of getting in the way. Alot has happened since we last spoke. I've started the Harmonica lessions wich has been great, I'll play you a tune one day. We went to see our facourite comedian Adam Hills on Thrusday night, went out on Friday night into the valley and got home around 5 in the morning. It was particulalry cool because we got to hang out with our friends from Balina (Hi Detta). I've been really slack and not applied for the crypto job at MTV, although I will try to make time for it today.

A special Hi goes out to Jason who commented on my blog and prompted this entry..... he too wants to be Indiana Jones and hunt some strange creatures that may or may not have had breakfast and may or may not feel that humans are a tasty little snack. It's no fun hunting monsters that aren't going to eat you if they catch you first.

I hope you have a relaxing day. Don't try too hard at anything.

Friday, February 10, 2006

something to fill out some space

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

New facts on exercise for women

Over a beer at lunch time two women have corrected a flaw in the previous post. Women are really interested in looking good for themselves so they can enjoy sex. If they don't feel attractive then they have trouble enjoying themselves. If only they realised that it doesn't matter that much to us.

On a related topic, the use of a red light bulb in the bedroom makes anyone look good. Everyone looks hot in a red lit room. Everyone has a tan and you can still seee everything but it appears a little dark at the same time. Try it on valentines day... this really does work.

On an unrelated topic, the goannas are out again. These guys have shown up a little late this year (normally they are wandering around where I work in Jauary). This fella is just over a meter long. I'll try and get a snap of a big one to post!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Fitness and looks across the sexes

This will be a short post. Based on exhaustive research involving the three or four people that were around on this particular day I have confirmed beyond a doubt that men will only invest time and energy in exercise designed to make them look good if they can get something from it (ie: sex). Any man that says he doesn't is really kidding himself (or possibly you).

Women on the other hand want to look good for it's own sake The most likely reason for this is that they already get enough attention from men anyway. The other motivator for women is to look good for other women... not in a lesbian sort of way but in the evil bitch competition sort of way.

more research to follow

MTV cryptozoology show

How cool would it be to have your own cryptozoology show on MTV. This would have to be the number one all time great jobs. All the excitement of working on a travel/nature documentary type show but looking for cryptoids from another time and place. Never have I seen an occupation that brings togbether just about everything cool about living. Exploring mysterious things in strange places and being an all round adventurer type.... and have someone else pay for it..... and be down with the kids all at the same time. It just boggles the mind.

This is even better than my number 9 ideal job (plain old boring cryptozoologist)!!! All my Indiana Jones fantasies would come true.

I can't see myself getting the job but if you want more info you should check out cryptomundo at http://www.cryptomundo.com/

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Hospital

Sitting up at the hospital thinking;

just chill out and enjoy what life has to offer.

balance between what is right and what feels good. Is there an appropriate why to live that is good for me and everyone around me that still feels good?

Last time I sat doing this I was waiting for someone to die. At least this time someone is going home.

You need to put something in the pot if you're going to play

I often find my self scrambling to create the illusion of stability and security. My animal brain moves me to this state. I think because it makes me comfortable and relaxed. The thing is that instability makes me more creative. I get tuned to look forthe angles, work out what I have to do to tget the most out of situations. Everyday there are tons of things that are possible but not explored. Stability doesn't like a challenge. Why follow a path that might make things worse? With any option you follow you need commmitment to follow it through.

I have options but to follow them I need to rock the boat, to risk what I have and jump with my eyes closed. For now I'm just standing on the edge looking down and wondering if I could fly. I can feel something like a clock ticking in my head going, jump now, you're still a young man. Tack some fucking risks with your life. When you were younger you tried everything that came your way (everything!) so why stop now. Soon you won't be able to make a leap because you will be too old..... Stupid little voice. It reminds me of the biological clock phenomina. Time's running out you need to act NOW, don't think just do. This is why beer is good, beer stops the brain.

anyway,

I went to pick up my mum at the hospital yesterday. It's all good now. She is fine. On the drive there I ended up stuck in the Queen's batton relay along corronation drive. It was a little surreal as it was really unexpected. (I've included a snap from my phone).

Second series of Lost starts tonight... wohoo.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

How can I keep my blogship if I don't update regularly?

There is no consistency in my outlook. This blog reflects that fact. Big gaps where nothing appears then a rash of entries. I could always put a little crap entry in to show I’m still alive. I always pull back from doing that, I respect you all too much to just put in filler.

I was feeling really shitty for a big chunk of last week so I didn’t post anything. It’s too easy to complain about life. It is a crap thing to do because, really stuff is good in the world (and the bad things need to be there too). You see I still have this idea that life can be interesting and that amazing things are out there if you only look. The trouble with thinking that everything is boring and pointless is that you miss the good stuff. You have to keep your eyes open and just get out there. I was reading the other day about some sociological experiments that this guy did to find out about luck. His theory was that you can make your own luck. Lucky people keep their eyes open and take the opportunities that they see. Unlucky people don’t look around them and don’t even see the opportunities that are there.

If I had of focused on the negative and stayed in a rut then I would have had a run of bad luck…why, because when you think everything is crap you don’t look out at the world. When something good happens you ignore it. You keep looking inwards. Things happen and you turn them down because you don’t feel like doing anything. I’m not saying that positive thinking can let you walk into the casino and come out with piles of cash. The law of averages still applies but in general life you can tilt things your way.

I'm going to post a few pictures of my home town over the coming weeks. Everyone can see the glory that is Briz Vegas. Until then relax and have a couple of beers for me.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Daily Stars

LEO - Daily horoscope

You're in a very daring and experimental mood. You're able to say what you're thinking without any editing, but you say it with so much charm that people are delighted to hear what's on your mind. Use this to your advantage.
+++++
I read my starts every day on the net but I don't know how far I believe in it. It does make me think.

With any luck I'll be squeezing out a big entry later on today. I signed up for a harmonica course.... wohoo I can't wait till it starts. The weekend was a test for my non-smoking, not getting drunk plan. It's been two weeks so far and this was the first time I seriously considered back sliding into the realms of drinking and smoking. I think there is some mental attachment between smoking, drinking, fun and sex. Given my past history that makes sense. The trick is to not get bored at home. The trouble is most of my good friends are working nights and weekends at the moment.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Harmonica

I've signed up for a Harmonica course. 8 weeks of two hour sesions. I can't wait for it to start.

In my book the harmonica has to be the best all round instrument.
* it sounds good on it's own
* Everyone has a guitar but few play the harmonica
* a guitar and a harmonica sound great together
* You can put it in your pocket and carry it everywhere (being a pack rat I love this aspect)
* even if you know nothing about playing a harmonica you can make some melodic noises with it
* it has a great bluesy sound, ideal for slow sunday afternoons.

Having said all this I can only make melodic noises with it at the moment. Give me a few months and hopefully I can make it sing.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Silly Post Day

Life

Life is a shopping bag that checks your spelling, is laced with vodka and glows with an eerie green light.

Some trivia stuff about me

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Doo!

1. Influenza got its name because people believed the disease was caused by the evil "influence" of Doo.
2. Julius Caesar wore a laurel wreath to cover up Doo.
3. If you toss Doo 10000 times, he will not land heads 5000 times, but more like 4950, because his head weighs more and thus ends up on the bottom!
4. It takes 17 muscles to smile, and 43 to frown at Doo.
5. There is no lead in a lead pencil - it is simply a stick of graphite mixed with Doo and water!
6. Doo can sleep with one eye open.
7. Doo can eat up to four kilograms of insects in a single night.
8. If you cut Doo in half and count the number of seeds inside, you will know how many children you are going to have.
9. Doo was named after Doo the taxi driver in Frank Capra's 'It's a Wonderful Life'.
10. Doo has three eyelids.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Sacrasm is wasted on me

I was talking to my brother in law the other day and he said something to me that I though was a bit off tap. We got to talking about it and I discovered that I just don't get sacrasm. All this time people were saying things to me and I was acting like they were being serious.

Suddenly all those weird little moment that had occured between me and the people around me made sense. No one expected me to take them seriously. It was a relevation. I told my wife about my blind spot and she replied that it explained alot (was she being sarcastic?).

In Australia sarcasm is a way of life, how I got this far is anyones guess.

Why can't blogger have categories?

I've just spent the last two hours trying a number of different methods to get categories to appear on my blog. I'm hoping the three people who read this blog will forgive me if I just wait for blogger to make it easy for non-scripty people like me to use.

I found a ton of information on different ways to do it. The trouble is none of it worked for me.

In short fuck it... no categories for you today. I'll have another go later.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Blog Blank

Twice in two days I've had these great ideas for blog entries.
Twice I failed to write them down.
This is the second time that you don't get to read them.

I'm hoping that they will just magically reappear in my mind, but I think they may have run off into the forest together. Deep in the forest all my escaped thoughts are having a party together... dirty little bastards. I have a little black note book now. It's a cage for keeping my thoughts in until they make it to the zoo. Where I can put them under glass for the world to see.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Afternoon posts are the worst - really I'm not crazy

The best thing I can do for the world is to sit down and chill out. Sometimes I take stuff way too seriously. Had a great chat with the little woman last night. It cleared the air a bit and now I can start breathing again. After a few years you need rearrange things a bit to keep stuff interesting. Even now... 7 years after we got together, I still learn new things about her (this doesn't happen every day). I like the fact she can still surprise me. She did tell me I need to lose some weight around the middle :-(

Bye bye to beer for the next few weeks (assuming I hold out that long).

I've got to learn to stop thinking about what other people are doing and just get on with my own shit. I keep acting like life is some sort of competition then get all moody. Then I try and get profound on the blog which just makes for really boring entries (like this one).

My blog self has moved on from just the fun stuff to trying to work out what the fuck I want to do with my life. I want to be obsessed with something. I have a friend that spins records for fun. He has a whole room packed with records in crates. When he is playing his music he just lights up and savours ever note. He doesn't have much but happiness and a shit load of records. Fromt he outside it looks like a great way to live. I'm a geneneralist. I need to get seriously into something. I want to think about it nonstop and get all the little things that go with bing into this thing so much my eyes are blind to the rest of the world. Although that sounds a little like mental illness.

My final word to myself - chill the fuck out and just do stuff when you want to, it's not that hard really.

It's a shame the gallery has closed down now. That was cool fun while it lasted.

These playing cards from retroraunch are pretty cool

Monday, January 09, 2006

tell me anything

There needs to be a badge that people can wear that says something along the lines of "you can tell me or ask me anything and I won't think you're weird". I love hearing about the freaky things people have done or think. I love talking about all the shit you are not suppose to talk about in polite society. I think that this is part of my attraction to blogs. Some people just let their shit hang out for everyone to see. It would rock to be able to ask strangers anything. The down side is people would stop wearing the badges because they would get sick of attracting all the freaks.

I saw a weird couple argument the other day. This young guy and a girl were walking out of a bar. They stopped and talked to this old guy that was walking in. They all had a conversation out the front of the bar then the girl walked in with the old guy, but she was crying while she walked in. The girl and the old guy sat inside drinking a beer while the young guy sat outside looking really pissed off. The girl got up and walked outside and had an animated conversation with the guy outside for ten minutes. No lovie dove contact or anthing just really insistant focused converstaion where she did all the talking. She seemed to be referring to her body a bit during the conversation eg; pointing at her boobs (which were very nice by the way), arranging her hair, pointing out her hips. Then she went back inside the bar to the old guy.

Unfortunately we had to leave at that point. It would have been good to find out what was going on.

Ever get the feeling I'm trying to say something but never quite get it out?

Holidays are done

So I'm back to it. Holidays are done and I've just looked at the old blog. It looks so 2005. No color no flash and bang going on. I've got to update my web skills and make it the sort of place i would want to visit. At the moment it is an uninspired mess.

I'm still grappling with the issue of disclosure. I thought about starting a fresh green field to write in. A new blog… one where the parts of myself that never get to see the sun can wander around. That way I could literally put down some of the darker thoughts that cross my tiny brain. The short version is that I don't feel like I can disclose all of the crazy shit that goes on in my brain

I gave my wife my nano novel to read. After a few pages in she said that she can't help but feel that the main character is me and the wife is her. i took the book off her. If she thinks that everything the main character says and does is me (rather than an imaginary construct of me) then shit would start to fly. I express things that reflect how I feel in some way, but the circumstances and events around it are different.

The difference between reality and fantasy exists for a reason. Fantasy can be dark and have serious negative repercussions. I think about things I would never do. It just so happens that I think about things that I would do as well, so the line kind of blurs a little. Some things are just mutually exclusive. Some people grasp this concept really well and others don't.

There are approximately 10 other things I should be doing at this point in time. The trouble is I'm in the mood to get the blog flow started again. I've go to develop my own template. This one looks really boring.

Anyway enjoy the kitten at the top of the page ;-)

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Holidays

Three weeks off work, one week down.

Monday, December 12, 2005

skirting around the issue

I've turned down a few free drinks and eats over the last week. This is not like me at all. I have a reputation for being able to find a free beer tab (and making the most of it). It's not that I'm lacking Chrissy cheer (although that has never been my strong point) it's more that drinking heaps around work colleagues is not good for me. It's only a matter of time before I cross the line and push my luck too far.

I keep wanting to squeeze all the life out of life. The trouble is most of the impulses I have are counter productive to long term happiness. At the moment I want to sell everything and go over seas and explore the world. Instead I'll be doing the home renovations. What I really need is to make a save point in my life so I can make a decision, see where it goes then reload at an earlier point if it isn't what I want to do. The older I get the more chicken I get. I'm way more confident in general but I tend to play it really safe. At some point I'm just going to bust out in a big way. It could be this holidays (although I tend to chill out a lot more when I'm not at work). It's building tho. Not sure when or where but I'm just going to go crazy on something. The holidays will probably be the time.

We got to go for a walk through a rain forest on the weekend. Nature is amazing. I think most of people's disatisfaction with life stems from being diconeccted from nature. Most of the hippies I know are really happy, they always make time to get back to nature. The more unhappy people are the less they seem to vibe on nature (or they do vibe on nature but just nver get to see it). After a few hours int he forest I lost the edge that I had be carrying for the last week. It just went away.

My year long struggle with Victory blinds (useless barstards) is over. We have our blinds and got $420 off the price. It caused us all manner of stress and suddenly the stress has gone. Rock and roll!