latest update

So I got the 50 k words required for nano, I'll post the winner thing on the blog shortly. Right now I’m going back and cleaning up my book while being pissed as a fart. I've found the writing thing to be really enjoyable. I'm going to try and make the best book possible out of the 50k I have so far. It's amazing how much of what i wrote was shit with jems buried in it. It's time to polish it and make it suitable for human consumption. My head is still messing with me though. The little voices are not helpful at all, except for the really, really faint one in the back ground. If only it was the loudest voice then everything would be good. The quietist voice has the most wisdom.
I'm feeling on the edge of a precipice at the moment. There is the potential for good or bad things to happen right now. It is time for me to sit still and see what happens.

nano update

This book is writing itself. I'm really happy with how it's going at the moment. 6700 words, about half of them pure gold... It's gold I tells ya.

The only draw back is I keep getting distracted by the eaiser ways to be entertained, videos, games and of course the internet itself. I have my target in sight and a week up my sleeve at the end of November. Got a nice little writers retreat planned to make up for any lost ground. Mornings in the surf, afternoons at the keyboard and no internet to distract me. Ideal conditions to create a magnificent work of fiction (well I did say half of it was gold).

My third blog post

Ideal Job #1 - successful novelist
This ranks as my all time number one job. You can work in coffee shops (with beret), cocktail lounges or even the beach and you have an excuse to ask anyone ANY question. People expect you to be eccentric and you get invited to parties.... now an unpublished novelist is a completely differnet kettle of fish

Start your engines

OK I'm just busting to start writing. I've been filling my note book with ideas and I just want to get scribbling before my enthusiasm wanes. I keep thinking I should wait until Nanowrimo starts. I just can't shake the feeling that this one might be publishable.

I was looking through the forums on the nanowrimo website and came across a great tip. When you end writing for the day, end on half a sentence. When you sit down to write the following day you will naturally just finish the sentence then keep going. I can't remember who posted the tip but my hats off to you.... this seems like a great idea.

I've installed mind manager so I can start to plan out the plot anyway. It's a fun time of year where I get to pretend that I'm going to complete a novel.

I found my blog post from last year and it still seems apt

Given my fetishisation of the writer’s life style I've joined Nanowrimo for this year. I have no idea how I’m going to fit it in with the rest of my life, but I'm going to give it a go anyway. I wanted to write a novel and I'm going to get it done (or at the very least make a big dint in the word count).

Tags: nanowrimo

Parties and Nanowrimo

Right... I'm back now. I was just in the other room for a while.
I've signed up for Nanowrimo for another year and even decided to get involved in the community. I'm excited about this year it should be fantastic! In the lead up to nonmo I'll put up a few posts then go off the air for a while during november.

Got back from Lennox Heads yesterday. Went to my mate Detta's b'day party. It was the best birthday eva. Amazing ocean views from the front deck, live band in the lounge room (they kicked ass) and it all got a bit messy (no sleep until 4:30am). As always a fantastic night was followed with a "why do I punish my body so much" sort of Sunday... but I'm feeling more human today.

Mojito time

It’s been quite a while since I have updated any posts here. Lots have happened but I won’t bore you with the details. What I did want to mention in my love for cocktails. I’ve made it my mission to learn how to make good cocktails (any idiot can make a crap one). Last week G and I went out and had a few cocktails and they rocked. They tasted nothing like the crap ones I normally make.

The best part is I now have a reason to go out and buy alcohol…. It’s my hobby to mix and drink beverages. I don’ know why I never thought of it before. I get to combine a whole lot of things that I enjoy into one hobby. I see it more as a useful skill. My goal is to have a list of 10 – 15 cocktails that I am skilled at making then getting little Tiki Lounge drinks menus made up. When friends drop in I can give ‘em the list and know that I can make al the items on there. To date my favorite is the Mojito. It is the ideal drink to welcome the warmer weather back to Brisbane.

Desire

Things can never be anything other than what they are…. Everything only ever happens in the way it happens

Nothing can live up to the fantasies that I have created in my mind. Life can never be as good as what my imagination believes possible. Then I start thinking… wait… but what if I’m wrong and it is actually possible to live in ideal circumstances. Is there anyone that doesn’t feel like their life could be better if they could just ….. ? At the end of the day it is my mind chasing its tail and wondering why it can never catch it. The weird thing is that I am happy. You heard right, I am happy, but I just want a little more. The world is full of people wanting more and just as many sources trying to tell you CAN have more. I’m going to draw a line in the sand and say this is what I want and I don’t want more…… but the line moves (bugga, I should have nailed it down). My level of unhappiness is the difference between my ideal view of the world and the actual world I live in. If I can accept reality as it is and not spend time wondering why it isn’t ideal then, theoretically, my happiness should increase.

This is not to say that I won’t continue to set goals for myself. It’s the doing of the goals I’ll focus on, not the outcome. I will still do things to satisfy my wants and needs, it’s the thoughts around those desires I can’t fill that I don’t want to dwell on.

The short version, I’m going to take it easy and enjoy what I have right now.

If this sounds a bit like Buddhist thought you’re right… I feel a great affinity with this line of living… putting it into practice is a little harder.

All this typing is somewhere in my past, the reading is in your present and the future is … well I’ve got no friggin idea where it is.

Have Fun

dump and run

It's been a long time between innings (well blogging). I've been writing in my Molskin notebook rather than blogging. It's easier to just throw out crap when noone is there to see it hit the ground. The plan was always to get the information out of the notebook and onto the web but that never really happened. Mostly the moleskin consisted of scraps of ideas for short stories or ideas for a potential nanomo epic for November. I've got a friend who wants to get together to read what each other has written over the last little while... the idea appeals to me but also makes me nervous... basically because I like writing crap... i hate going back and revising what i've written. I just dump it and run.

I have become increasingly convinced that my salvation is to work as little as possible. I've come to the conclusion that even in large organisations a really productive worker makes everyone nervous and guilty. You need to be seen to be doing your job but not getting too swept up in the whole workiness of it all. No one is going to die if you stuff up your job.

Gripping blog entries

This page is great. It talks about how to come up with gripping blog entries. Over the next few weeks I'm going to try and follow some of their advice. If you like to blog it's worth a read.

http://performancing.com/node/169

Doo's big weekend

I had a monster weekend. It’s a bit unusual for me as most weekends are relatively tame by comparison. The weekend started on Thursday with a few Blue Grass bands at the Broadway Hotel in South Brisbane. There were banjos a plenty and everyone got into the spirit of the night with lots of thigh slapping. The night was a prequel for the Redlands shire blue grass festival.

Friday was dinner, art show and a movie. We saw Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Mans Chest. It was a great watch, but the cliff hanger ending was really annoying. At least the Lord of the rings trilogy ended the chapters with only a few loose ends. This one ended with everything up in the air. After the movie we moved on to an art show at the Power House gallery. The powerhouse is a converted power station. It was a great night with some old friends turning up. There was one guy I once shared a house with about 9 years ago. The art was cool all of the work was done on skateboard decks. My friend Gaz was spinning tunes there. The turn out was huge.

Then Saturday night was the night of the Tiki Terrors. I basically got slaughtered. I worked out I drank the equivalent to a carton of beer over the night. The music was amazing. I spent the whole night on the dance floor (probably dancing like an idiot). Wiseacre just got me jumping. The other cool part about the night was the hula dancers that came out between the sets. I missed out on a tiki mug but scored a great lay (the kind you hang around your neck). The other cool part of the evening was the fact I was flying completely solo…. and lots of strange women came up to talk to me throughout the evening. I had my mojo on (and a very cool hat).

I've been thinking about the nature of excess. Over the last few days I’ve drunk and smoked constantly and noticed a bad feeling about it. Don't get me wrong I had a great time. Sundays news paper told me I was a bad person. I know I’m not that bad, but the constant meme bombardment is starting to have an effect on my psyche.

The trouble is I know the health risks that accompany some of my behavior but if you followed all the advice that the media gives out you would end up doing nothing. Everything is dangerous according to TV and print media. There was a time when you could go out and get drunk without thinking was a diseased liver looks like. A time when a man or woman) had a slight gut and that was ok.

The only thing for it is to stop watching tv and reading crap newspapers and magazines. You need to get a bit wild now and then. You need to follow your own lead even if there is some risk involved. Or I could just be trying to justify my desire to drink and dance like an idiot.

Nude Sculpture

Right now I want to get naked and build some huge outdoor sculpture. I want to play the go team or Machine Gun Felatio as loud as I can. I want to drink beer while creating this sculpture/art piece. I want to weld plate metal while nude and drunk. I would prefer to do this in a public place…. Does anyone have any problems with this as a life goal? If you can’t tell I have a lot of energy to dissipate and I need to do it in a crazy sort of way. In reality I will most likely go home put some music on and have a few beers… I would hate to shock Doreen (the 85 year old next door neighbor with some nude sculpting). Actually it wouldn’t take much to start sculpting stuff in the nude….. hmmm what sort of stuff do I have lying around the house….I just need to get through the next 2 hours at work first. They don't appreciate sculpture or nudity very much here.

Blank Page again

Blank page again. You see I’ve tried to go straight to the truth,. To tell you how I feel. The weird thing is I now realize that I was wrong. I should have lied to you. It sounds a little crazy but if I make things up and tell you, you will learn more about me than if I told the truth. Let me get warmed up on some little lies before I graduate to some really big lies. I hit up on this idea, the interesting lies, out of desperation really. You see I ran out of things to write about. I got sick of telling the same stories. Really there is truth in my stories, just not in the words. The words are lies but the intent is pure, pure as the driven snow. Of course I could have started lying already. I said that I would and I think that I have, already started that is. I don’t really want you to know the truth. That would be a little confronting, wouldn’t it. Imagine if I told you that I wanted to kiss you. Right here and now. Just push you up against a wall and passionately kiss you. You might feel a little weird about it, but I’m lying so it is OK. What is the goal of all this, entertainment, yours and mine. Mine in the act of writing, yours in the act of reading. The lying just makes it easier to write, to get it out. Even the lying is getting hard.

doodling with words

Did I mention that I have given up smoking again…Everyone who knows me is probably really sick of me quitting all the time then going back to smoking. This time is a little different though. Around here you can no longer smoke in pubs, clubs or coffee shops. The other change is my brand is no longer available (they changed the flavour).

As I mentioned I had a big day on Saturday and the smoking content was right up there. It is Tuesday today, day three of no smoking. I’m thinking of getting out a jar and putting $10 a day in it just to see the money savings grow. It is pretty cool to think that in 7 days there will be $100 in the jar. Already I have had huge spikes of good feelings and energy, to date it hasn’t pushed me over the edge. In the past the surges of energy I experience make me get all jittery and on edge and I slide back into smoking.

The Zombie thing was one of the bits that I turned out yesterday….. it’s like doodling except with words instead of pictures. I’ve started getting into the habit of opening up a word document and just typing into it during the day. It is a place to collect any old shit pops into my head.

Zombies

It had been a while since the zombies had taken over. There was some fighting against it but in the end they just replicated far too easily. No one was really sure what made someone become a zombie, it just sort of happened. It wasn’t transferred by zombie bites like the movies. It had crept up on us really. First a few people just seemed to be acting a little weird, dropping out of work, getting really anti social and there was a minor spike in violent crimes at night. Originally the zombies kept a low profile at least until they reached a critical mass that let them take over. Then they came out in force. Everywhere that use to feel like home to me has now become theirs. For the most part they leave me alone. The great zombie plague hadn’t taken the form of running gun battles by desperate survivors although there had been a few of those. Most of the take over was all one sided. More and more zombies just turned up on the streets and noone did anything about it. There was no un-deadness, the zombies could be killed, although it took a bit to stop them once they got started. During the day the zombies shuffled around the streets in a relatively placid way. You could almost feel sorry for them the way they mindlessly walked the streets looking at objects they couldn’t fully understand. I could see that they recognized objects but a crucial part of their cognitive process was missing. They would pick up things they found on the street and make piles. Eventually they would get frustrated and smash the piles they had made. It made me think of small children smashing their toys on the ground.

It wasn’t until the sun went down that they became dangerous. At night they would form up into packs and run through the streets looking for people like me or even other zombies that were in groups too small to defend themselves. If you have ever seen a documentary where the chimpanzees that kill other monkeys it was a lot like that. Lots of screaming, running after some terrified creature. Chimpanzees start coming from all directions. Eventually they capture their quarry and then there is blood, tearing and more screaming. Then it all goes relatively quiet while they sit around in a group eating what they have caught in the messiest and nosiest way possible.

Beard begone

The beard is gone. Being clean shaven is an interesting experience. The strangest part is the physical sensation of having a cool breeze blow across my face and feeling it on parts of my face that haven’t seen the sun for a few years. It was time for a change and change I did. Some say it makes me look younger but my lady love feels that I look better with a beard.

Yesterday I made a few blog entries that didn’t make it to posting. I suppose I felt like they didn’t accurately represent how I feel about the universe. I was still experiencing some seediness from the weekend’s fun. I had a friend come up from Ballina (hi Detta) and another from work (hi Qwickie) and we all stayed up until the early morning. It was a cool night, but by Monday I was asking all sorts of questions about life and my place in the Universe. I just need to remember… don’t think……. I should take a leaf out of qwick’s book

Tiki night in Brisbane

A Tiki night ... in Brisbane... wohooo

Steam toys

This man makes the best toys... it's worth checking out http://www.crabfu.com/steamtoys/

brother steve

brother steve, do you read this blog... I noticed an exetel ip address and started to wonder if it is you... I know you use exetel...

People are strange

I’m having trouble deciding what to put in this particular blog entry. On one hand I’m tempted to talk about my friend who has depression. She has been losing the plot a bit of late and I’m finding it difficult to know how to react. It’s easy enough to say I understand and that everything is going to turn out OK, but on the other hand I don’t feel right when she starts to blow the smallest thing out of all proportion and I moderate my reaction on the grounds she is depressed. There are times when I feel like I’m Dr Phil. Really she needs to try and relax a bit and put things into perspective. It’s easy for me to say, pretty much impossible for her to do. The trouble is I end up drawn into the over analysis when I talk to her about things that are happening in her life. Then I feel as though I’m encouraging the convoluted trains of thought she finds herself trapped in.

The other topic I’m tempted to discuss is the nature of relationships and how men can survive them. I really, really need to learn to keep my mouth shut. I have this tendency to try and be open and honest. When she tells me, ”I really want to know, it’s ok you can tell me”, I should take that as a sign to keep my mouth shut. At the moment I’m in the doghouse with my lady love for talking about the ways she sometimes pisses me off. I also failed in the critical task of supporting her 100% (even though I think she is 90% right I mentioned the other 10%). I guess it is just my time to be in the dog house. My goal is to not let it stress me. I’ve just got to remember to relax and roll with the punches. Sometimes I feel like a character in a Haruki Murikami novel. Things just seem to happen and all I can really do is watch it all unfold.

Kari Byron is it!

23 out of the last 25 hits for the last 24 hours have been Kari Byron hits. My blog has gone from a tiny 3 actual hits a day (not counting all the automatic crap that hits it) to 18 in a day..... with everyone checking out the same page. It makes sense though... as I mentioned in my previous post she is the hottest girl on TV. I agree with the general internet consensus... she looks way sexier in real life than in the FHM shoot.... which backs up my theory that you can't act sexy, you can only let the sexy out.

BTW this is not going to become a Kari Byron fan blog.

How to spend a million dollars

I’ve seen a few posts (well four really) around the place relating to visualizing what you really want from life. The plan is to clarify your goals in life. Most of them take the form of imagine what you would do if you were god or what you would do if you had a million dollars. I thought about this for a little while and came up with my own list. Interestingly enough it matches closely to my list of ideal jobs (for the late comers you will need to check the archives).

I would become a freelance photographer (located at a beach of course) and in the afternoons I would write any old crap I felt like, then have some beers into the night. On my days off I would just sit and read. Really I don’t need a million dollars to live my dream. There are no mansions, expensive cars or really flash clothes (I might get some great boots and a crumpler bag). The real question I am asking myself is why don’t I try and live the dream now…. Could I get a job taking photos and writing little bits of crap that are only interesting to me (and the five other special people in the world). Am I big chicken for not living the dream, or am i just bored in my day job?

Inner Slacker

Life is a constant struggle between the inner slacker and the inner workaholic. The slacker wants to sit on it’s ass drinking coffe or beer and enjoying life’s parade in all it’s variety. The inner workaholic is a scared little chap who constantly wants to protect himself from life’s blows. He berates the slacker for not doing enough to improve his lot in life. No where is this more apparent than at work. The workaholic starts to fret if work isn’t frantic enough. They will sack me and I’ll lose the house and everything. He is a classic catastrophiser. The workaholic is always measuring the angles and looking for the best way of getting something. The inner workaholic never looks at the big picture, or when he does it is always about what is missing and what should be happening. He never has any fun.

The inner slacker is too lazy to really fight back. He knows that beer o’clock will roll around eventually and comfort and calmness will return. Personally I like the slacker the best. He is much more fun to have around..... and he keeps me sane.

letting the sexy out

I’ve been thinking about the nature of sexy. As near as I can tell you can’t act sexy... You can only let the sexy out. When someone tries to be sexy their eyes just don’t reflect the inner heat. Their bodies don’t move in a fluid way that answers the slightest touch. It just feels wrong.

When someone has let the sexy out you can feel the desire in the eyes, their body moves at the touch. The whole thing feels completely different to someone trying to act sexy. Alcohol and some drugs makes it hard to tell the difference (everything appears sexy).

Some women let the sexy out naturally during the day. Just the way they walk and the way they talk lets you know that the sexy lurks just under the surface. Kari Byron lets the sexy out in everything she does..... it's the passion. Guys can let the sexy out, but it usually harder for them because they are detached from their emotions.

My advise is to stay away from acting sexy and try and move towards letting the sexy out…. Everyone is happy then.

chill out

Ahh the mind ticks overtime….. One of my fish died (I have tropical fish), I got sick and everything seems really boring at the moment. I started thinking about the pets and the people that have died… what life means and the variety of experience that you can get in life. I started to contemplate all the usual ways of filling my time. I could start practicing the harmonica, exercise, go out, drink to excess, meditate, read, join the SES (state emergency service) or write but none of that is likely to float my boat. What ails me is deeper than that.

I came across a zen website that made sense to me. It cut through my haze and got me thinking about what would really make me happy. I’m not keen on having kids which seems to be the way that most of my friends are following. I think I have been focusing too much on ‘doing’. I think about how I can make my life better… more fun. Every time I see people in worse shape than me, severe disabilities, homelessness and just the absolute shit that life can throw at you I realize that I have nothing to complain about. Don’t get me wrong I know I’m whinging and the blog world is full of people who think that the world owes them, this is how I’m feeling now.

Alcohol won’t make me happy, business won’t make me happy, sex won’t make me happy (well maybe a little happy, but not as a life mission). I think I’m pushing too hard to extract meaning from things that have no meaning. Time to shut the brain down. I’m thinking too much, I need to just go with the flow.

To quote the website that got me thinking (http://www.deansluyter.com/pages.cfm?id=177);

No beer left.
I'll sit and drink
The sky.
- Josh Feuer
Pushing, Pulling, and Freedom

This one change changes everything. As we gradually learn to leave off distractedness and rest in openness, we stop looking for fulfillment outside of the way things already are. Till now we've gone through life pushing and pulling - trying to push the undesirable away from us and pull the desirable toward us. It's such an entrenched habit that we persist even when there's no payoff, when it only creates frustration. Stuck in the traffic jam, we keep trying to push the cars out of the way with our mental bulldozer; spotting the luscious babe (or hunk), we keep trying to extend our mental tendrils and pull her (or him) within copulation range.

But resting in openness, free from the agitation of pushing and pulling, we can just witness the situation. This doesn't mean to suppress our anger at the traffic if it arises or our lust for the babe if it arises, for those arisings are also part of the situation we're witnessing. But it means we don't get lost in the arisings either, don't fixate on them.

Elevate the scope of 360-degree global awareness.
- Lama Surya Das

To be open is to be receptive to all 360 degrees of our experience, not stuck in the five or ten degrees where we're pushing or pulling.


At the end of the day I need to chill out.

Kari Byron

Nerve.com had Kari Byron as their crush of the week and I would have to agree with them. This woman is very cool. Not only is she good looking, artistic and a mythbuster, but she appears (at least on TV and in the stuff I read) really cool, friendly and fun. If that isn’t enough she also traveled around scuba diving and trekking. This is a woman after my own heart. Plastic boobs and barbie dolls do nothing for me.... give me a woman with heart and soul any day

Ladies and gentlemen meet Lola

I’ve had a realization, since no one reads this blog I can post the tat and no one who is looking for a design will find it….. Ladies and gentlemen meet Lola. The dimensions look abit weird because the photo is on a slight angle and the canvas is curved but you get the idea anyway. If you look to the right of the picture you can just make out the Tiki lurking in the background.

Sydney was fun but it is good to be home. The weather in Brisbane is great this time of year, a slight chill (but nothing drastic), bright clear skies and a trace of warmth from the sun. Unfortunately while we were in Sydney it was raining every day and really cold and over cast. As mentioned previously the trip consisted of shopping, markets and pub/cafe sitting (not much else to do when it is pissing with rain).

Still in Sydney

I'm still kicking around in Sydney... round here you can shop or you can drink (both of which I have thoroughly indulged in). I have spent way more than initially budgeted. The good thing is I've been such a cheap bastard previously that I can afford to get a little silly with the cash. With all these new clothes I now have a style (it makes me feel a little like Justin Timberlake.... {shudder}). They have jelly wrestling up the road…. I’ve never seen that before, I might check it out. Out of curious scientific interest only. No other point in watching two buxom women grappling in a pool of jelly is there?

Only two days to go until I'm back in Brizvegas.

Her name is Lola

Another whole week has passed without an update. Tonight I fly to Sydney to hang out down there for the next five days. The whole five days will be spent shopping, drinking, shopping, drinking. Sydney isn't as much fun as Melbourne but it can still be great with the right company.

My novel submission was rejected (no surprises there)... but I have a great idea for another one... I'm thinking love and danger in the south seas (rather like the postcard section on my blog). Chuck in some hot tropical loving, spies, danger and a happy ending and it would be something that I would want to read.

There is some new stuff in the Tiki lounge at home... we have some cool wooden serving bowls and trays and a cheezy plastic tiki wall hanging... almost time for another Luau party.

I have named the tattoo... Her name is Lola she's a show girl....with yellow flowers in her hair (actually it is a red flower) and a dress that goes up to there. The tattoo is a Sailor Jerry inspired Hula girl dancing infront of a large TIki carving... and she rocks! I seriously think that it is the hottest tattoo I have seen.... many thanks to Alison at Westside tattoo (she is the best). If I had my USB stick with me I would post the pictures but I left it at home today.... bugga

Happy Thursday Campers

Life is really exciting when you don't think about anything too deeply. Thought is the enemy of happiness..... don't think about it kids just believe it! So far i've spent the morning grazing on rich internet fodder. Some has tickled my brain, some has tickled my soul and some has tickled my body. It is so easy to forget that anything is possible. By anything I'm not talking about what i want to have happen, but that you never know how anything is going to turn out. Given that everything is so good at the moment is it any wonder I'm so friggin' chirpy this morning.

I didn't get my submission letter in last week.... but I will have it in by Friday.

Comments and tattoos

I love comments. The last three posts have been because some one has posted comments. Mostly it is Andru who comments. I'm not a regular poster (as you can tell) but if someone is reading I'll keep writin'

The tattoo turned out better than I had hoped. It's in the final phase of the scab falling off. I'm a bit undecided about posting a picture of it on the internet. It is nice to think that I have the only tattoo that looks exactly like this (although the design was influenced by two other tattoos). Everyone asks if they hurt. The actual tattoo itself doesn't hurt that much.... if feels like ssome one is scratching the skin with a piece of metal. The worst part is trying to get to sleep that first night. Even the gentle touch of the bed sheets hurt. The other drawback is wearing long pants atwork the first two days (the tattoo is on my calf). The constant rubbging make it red and angry. A point to note for future reference... if you get a tattoo near a joint and it is large with lots of colour then expect the joint to swell a bit.... if the swelling is red then it is infected, if not then it is just a natural response from the body to the tattoo. If you really want to see it let me know and I'll email you a picture.

A new Tattooo

Hey Kids

I'm booked in for a new tattoo tomrrow afternoon. There will be a rather large hula girl gracing my calf. I'm pretty excited about it. This will be the largest and most colour full one that I have gotten. Once it heals up I'll throw up a picture of it for all to see. One common question I get asked is "shouldn't you get a tattoo that has special meaning to you"..... Hula girls do have special meaning to me. They symbolise freedom, fun, innocent sexuality and drinks with little umbrellas.

The other exciting piece of news is that I have started working on a submission for my novel. I can't wait for my first rejection letter. The thrill of having my dreams crushed.

Anyway you have fun on the interent today and stay safe.

Cheers
Drew

Tags: life

Tags: tattoo

Not quite dead and gone

Yes I'm back. I've had a rest and now I'm back to blogging. I thought I was done but there is still a use for this blog.

I was thinking about a friend I have made..... We meet in the hall way at work or stand in line at the same coffe shop and have little compressed 5 minute conversations. Even though the accumulated total of conversation would be lucky to reach an hour we seem to talk about the most amazing stuff. She knows almost nothing about me, but I hear about all sorts of strange and mysterious events in her life. It weird that I know so much about her after a really short time.
I know you are thinking it's about sex, how could it not be about sex. Sex is always a factor when I talk to good looking women but I'm really just enjoying the conversation. There are no dirty thoughts involved. I'm wondering if we will become anything other than hallway friends. Will she ever be over for a BBQ?

It's very refreshing to have someone new confide in me, I've posted about my interest in other peoples secrets before.

Tags: life

del.icio.us Tags: life

Tags: blog

del.icio.us Tags: blog

derelict blog

this is now a derelict blog drifting through the internet.

I forgot my blog existed

Holy shit, I completely forgot that I had a blog!
It's crazy but I've been running round doing stuff and just forgot that it existed. It wasn't until I started doing some writing for myself that I remembered that it existed. I should just accept that blogging is a flash in the pan for me. Once again I don't have time right now to update it but hi anyway if you read this. I hope that your stuff is all turning out well.

Hi Internet

Hi Internet

It's been a while since I've posted anything in my blog. Life seemed to have a way of getting in the way. Alot has happened since we last spoke. I've started the Harmonica lessions wich has been great, I'll play you a tune one day. We went to see our facourite comedian Adam Hills on Thrusday night, went out on Friday night into the valley and got home around 5 in the morning. It was particulalry cool because we got to hang out with our friends from Balina (Hi Detta). I've been really slack and not applied for the crypto job at MTV, although I will try to make time for it today.

A special Hi goes out to Jason who commented on my blog and prompted this entry..... he too wants to be Indiana Jones and hunt some strange creatures that may or may not have had breakfast and may or may not feel that humans are a tasty little snack. It's no fun hunting monsters that aren't going to eat you if they catch you first.

I hope you have a relaxing day. Don't try too hard at anything.

Tags: life

something to fill out some space

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

New facts on exercise for women

Over a beer at lunch time two women have corrected a flaw in the previous post. Women are really interested in looking good for themselves so they can enjoy sex. If they don't feel attractive then they have trouble enjoying themselves. If only they realised that it doesn't matter that much to us.

On a related topic, the use of a red light bulb in the bedroom makes anyone look good. Everyone looks hot in a red lit room. Everyone has a tan and you can still seee everything but it appears a little dark at the same time. Try it on valentines day... this really does work.

On an unrelated topic, the goannas are out again. These guys have shown up a little late this year (normally they are wandering around where I work in Jauary). This fella is just over a meter long. I'll try and get a snap of a big one to post!

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Tags: sex

Fitness and looks across the sexes

This will be a short post. Based on exhaustive research involving the three or four people that were around on this particular day I have confirmed beyond a doubt that men will only invest time and energy in exercise designed to make them look good if they can get something from it (ie: sex). Any man that says he doesn't is really kidding himself (or possibly you).

Women on the other hand want to look good for it's own sake The most likely reason for this is that they already get enough attention from men anyway. The other motivator for women is to look good for other women... not in a lesbian sort of way but in the evil bitch competition sort of way.

more research to follow

Tags: life

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MTV cryptozoology show

How cool would it be to have your own cryptozoology show on MTV. This would have to be the number one all time great jobs. All the excitement of working on a travel/nature documentary type show but looking for cryptoids from another time and place. Never have I seen an occupation that brings togbether just about everything cool about living. Exploring mysterious things in strange places and being an all round adventurer type.... and have someone else pay for it..... and be down with the kids all at the same time. It just boggles the mind.

This is even better than my number 9 ideal job (plain old boring cryptozoologist)!!! All my Indiana Jones fantasies would come true.

I can't see myself getting the job but if you want more info you should check out cryptomundo at http://www.cryptomundo.com/

Tags: life

Hospital

Sitting up at the hospital thinking;

just chill out and enjoy what life has to offer.

balance between what is right and what feels good. Is there an appropriate why to live that is good for me and everyone around me that still feels good?

Last time I sat doing this I was waiting for someone to die. At least this time someone is going home.

Tags: life

You need to put something in the pot if you're going to play

I often find my self scrambling to create the illusion of stability and security. My animal brain moves me to this state. I think because it makes me comfortable and relaxed. The thing is that instability makes me more creative. I get tuned to look forthe angles, work out what I have to do to tget the most out of situations. Everyday there are tons of things that are possible but not explored. Stability doesn't like a challenge. Why follow a path that might make things worse? With any option you follow you need commmitment to follow it through.

I have options but to follow them I need to rock the boat, to risk what I have and jump with my eyes closed. For now I'm just standing on the edge looking down and wondering if I could fly. I can feel something like a clock ticking in my head going, jump now, you're still a young man. Tack some fucking risks with your life. When you were younger you tried everything that came your way (everything!) so why stop now. Soon you won't be able to make a leap because you will be too old..... Stupid little voice. It reminds me of the biological clock phenomina. Time's running out you need to act NOW, don't think just do. This is why beer is good, beer stops the brain.

anyway,

I went to pick up my mum at the hospital yesterday. It's all good now. She is fine. On the drive there I ended up stuck in the Queen's batton relay along corronation drive. It was a little surreal as it was really unexpected. (I've included a snap from my phone).

Second series of Lost starts tonight... wohoo.

Tags: life

How can I keep my blogship if I don't update regularly?

There is no consistency in my outlook. This blog reflects that fact. Big gaps where nothing appears then a rash of entries. I could always put a little crap entry in to show I’m still alive. I always pull back from doing that, I respect you all too much to just put in filler.

I was feeling really shitty for a big chunk of last week so I didn’t post anything. It’s too easy to complain about life. It is a crap thing to do because, really stuff is good in the world (and the bad things need to be there too). You see I still have this idea that life can be interesting and that amazing things are out there if you only look. The trouble with thinking that everything is boring and pointless is that you miss the good stuff. You have to keep your eyes open and just get out there. I was reading the other day about some sociological experiments that this guy did to find out about luck. His theory was that you can make your own luck. Lucky people keep their eyes open and take the opportunities that they see. Unlucky people don’t look around them and don’t even see the opportunities that are there.

If I had of focused on the negative and stayed in a rut then I would have had a run of bad luck…why, because when you think everything is crap you don’t look out at the world. When something good happens you ignore it. You keep looking inwards. Things happen and you turn them down because you don’t feel like doing anything. I’m not saying that positive thinking can let you walk into the casino and come out with piles of cash. The law of averages still applies but in general life you can tilt things your way.

I'm going to post a few pictures of my home town over the coming weeks. Everyone can see the glory that is Briz Vegas. Until then relax and have a couple of beers for me.

Daily Stars

LEO - Daily horoscope

You're in a very daring and experimental mood. You're able to say what you're thinking without any editing, but you say it with so much charm that people are delighted to hear what's on your mind. Use this to your advantage.
+++++
I read my starts every day on the net but I don't know how far I believe in it. It does make me think.

With any luck I'll be squeezing out a big entry later on today. I signed up for a harmonica course.... wohoo I can't wait till it starts. The weekend was a test for my non-smoking, not getting drunk plan. It's been two weeks so far and this was the first time I seriously considered back sliding into the realms of drinking and smoking. I think there is some mental attachment between smoking, drinking, fun and sex. Given my past history that makes sense. The trick is to not get bored at home. The trouble is most of my good friends are working nights and weekends at the moment.

Tags: life

Harmonica

I've signed up for a Harmonica course. 8 weeks of two hour sesions. I can't wait for it to start.

In my book the harmonica has to be the best all round instrument.
* it sounds good on it's own
* Everyone has a guitar but few play the harmonica
* a guitar and a harmonica sound great together
* You can put it in your pocket and carry it everywhere (being a pack rat I love this aspect)
* even if you know nothing about playing a harmonica you can make some melodic noises with it
* it has a great bluesy sound, ideal for slow sunday afternoons.

Having said all this I can only make melodic noises with it at the moment. Give me a few months and hopefully I can make it sing.

Tags: life

Silly Post Day

Life

Life is a shopping bag that checks your spelling, is laced with vodka and glows with an eerie green light.

Some trivia stuff about me

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Doo!

1. Influenza got its name because people believed the disease was caused by the evil "influence" of Doo.
2. Julius Caesar wore a laurel wreath to cover up Doo.
3. If you toss Doo 10000 times, he will not land heads 5000 times, but more like 4950, because his head weighs more and thus ends up on the bottom!
4. It takes 17 muscles to smile, and 43 to frown at Doo.
5. There is no lead in a lead pencil - it is simply a stick of graphite mixed with Doo and water!
6. Doo can sleep with one eye open.
7. Doo can eat up to four kilograms of insects in a single night.
8. If you cut Doo in half and count the number of seeds inside, you will know how many children you are going to have.
9. Doo was named after Doo the taxi driver in Frank Capra's 'It's a Wonderful Life'.
10. Doo has three eyelids.

Tags: life

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Sacrasm is wasted on me

I was talking to my brother in law the other day and he said something to me that I though was a bit off tap. We got to talking about it and I discovered that I just don't get sacrasm. All this time people were saying things to me and I was acting like they were being serious.

Suddenly all those weird little moment that had occured between me and the people around me made sense. No one expected me to take them seriously. It was a relevation. I told my wife about my blind spot and she replied that it explained alot (was she being sarcastic?).

In Australia sarcasm is a way of life, how I got this far is anyones guess.

Tags: life

Why can't blogger have categories?

I've just spent the last two hours trying a number of different methods to get categories to appear on my blog. I'm hoping the three people who read this blog will forgive me if I just wait for blogger to make it easy for non-scripty people like me to use.

I found a ton of information on different ways to do it. The trouble is none of it worked for me.

In short fuck it... no categories for you today. I'll have another go later.

Tags: blogging

Tags: life

Blog Blank

• Twice in two days I've had these great ideas for blog entries.
• Twice I failed to write them down.
• This is the second time that you don't get to read them.

I'm hoping that they will just magically reappear in my mind, but I think they may have run off into the forest together. Deep in the forest all my escaped thoughts are having a party together... dirty little bastards. I have a little black note book now. It's a cage for keeping my thoughts in until they make it to the zoo. Where I can put them under glass for the world to see.

Tags: blogging

Afternoon posts are the worst - really I'm not crazy

The best thing I can do for the world is to sit down and chill out. Sometimes I take stuff way too seriously. Had a great chat with the little woman last night. It cleared the air a bit and now I can start breathing again. After a few years you need rearrange things a bit to keep stuff interesting. Even now... 7 years after we got together, I still learn new things about her (this doesn't happen every day). I like the fact she can still surprise me. She did tell me I need to lose some weight around the middle :-(

Bye bye to beer for the next few weeks (assuming I hold out that long).

I've got to learn to stop thinking about what other people are doing and just get on with my own shit. I keep acting like life is some sort of competition then get all moody. Then I try and get profound on the blog which just makes for really boring entries (like this one).

My blog self has moved on from just the fun stuff to trying to work out what the fuck I want to do with my life. I want to be obsessed with something. I have a friend that spins records for fun. He has a whole room packed with records in crates. When he is playing his music he just lights up and savours ever note. He doesn't have much but happiness and a shit load of records. Fromt he outside it looks like a great way to live. I'm a geneneralist. I need to get seriously into something. I want to think about it nonstop and get all the little things that go with bing into this thing so much my eyes are blind to the rest of the world. Although that sounds a little like mental illness.

My final word to myself - chill the fuck out and just do stuff when you want to, it's not that hard really.

It's a shame the gallery has closed down now. That was cool fun while it lasted.

These playing cards from retroraunch are pretty cool

tell me anything

There needs to be a badge that people can wear that says something along the lines of "you can tell me or ask me anything and I won't think you're weird". I love hearing about the freaky things people have done or think. I love talking about all the shit you are not suppose to talk about in polite society. I think that this is part of my attraction to blogs. Some people just let their shit hang out for everyone to see. It would rock to be able to ask strangers anything. The down side is people would stop wearing the badges because they would get sick of attracting all the freaks.

I saw a weird couple argument the other day. This young guy and a girl were walking out of a bar. They stopped and talked to this old guy that was walking in. They all had a conversation out the front of the bar then the girl walked in with the old guy, but she was crying while she walked in. The girl and the old guy sat inside drinking a beer while the young guy sat outside looking really pissed off. The girl got up and walked outside and had an animated conversation with the guy outside for ten minutes. No lovie dove contact or anthing just really insistant focused converstaion where she did all the talking. She seemed to be referring to her body a bit during the conversation eg; pointing at her boobs (which were very nice by the way), arranging her hair, pointing out her hips. Then she went back inside the bar to the old guy.

Unfortunately we had to leave at that point. It would have been good to find out what was going on.

Ever get the feeling I'm trying to say something but never quite get it out?

Holidays are done

So I'm back to it. Holidays are done and I've just looked at the old blog. It looks so 2005. No color no flash and bang going on. I've got to update my web skills and make it the sort of place i would want to visit. At the moment it is an uninspired mess.

I'm still grappling with the issue of disclosure. I thought about starting a fresh green field to write in. A new blog… one where the parts of myself that never get to see the sun can wander around. That way I could literally put down some of the darker thoughts that cross my tiny brain. The short version is that I don't feel like I can disclose all of the crazy shit that goes on in my brain

I gave my wife my nano novel to read. After a few pages in she said that she can't help but feel that the main character is me and the wife is her. i took the book off her. If she thinks that everything the main character says and does is me (rather than an imaginary construct of me) then shit would start to fly. I express things that reflect how I feel in some way, but the circumstances and events around it are different.

The difference between reality and fantasy exists for a reason. Fantasy can be dark and have serious negative repercussions. I think about things I would never do. It just so happens that I think about things that I would do as well, so the line kind of blurs a little. Some things are just mutually exclusive. Some people grasp this concept really well and others don't.

There are approximately 10 other things I should be doing at this point in time. The trouble is I'm in the mood to get the blog flow started again. I've go to develop my own template. This one looks really boring.

Anyway enjoy the kitten at the top of the page ;-)

Tags: blog

Tags: blogging