It started with getting my dive licence. My wife was off visiting her home land and a friend of mine dragged me out to do something that I have wanted to do since I was about 10 years old. My PADI certification gave me a buzz for a few weeks. The next thing I stumbled upon was 43things.com. I set myself some goals that I had fooled around with over the last few years (unsuccessfully). This kicked off the experiment.
Hypotheses:
1 Clean living will improve the quality of my life
2 I can have fun within the bounds of acceptable normal/moral behaviour.
3 I can alter my reality and make it what I want
The Experiment:
This blog, my new found internet life and my drive towards all things good and pure are part of the experiment. I am the test subject, the poor bunny getting cosmetics rubbed into it's eyes.
1 Stopping smoking and regular exercise are key to the clean living goals. The move from heavy drinking, heavy smoking party boy to non-smoking, medium drinking party boy
2 Life can be driven by lust and the urge to wipe ones self out whenever the opportunity presents itself. Life appears to be really boring without these distractions. The goal is to build up my life outside of these activites so they become less important to me. I'm also engaging in regular meditation to keep me on a more even keel.
3 Reality is limited by what you believe it to be. I was in danger of going to work, going home, watching tv, going to sleep, repeat. Weekend comes then drink, drink, drink, smoke, smoke, smoke. The plan is to step outside of my normal activites and seek out new things to do.
The results:
1 Up... down.... up.... down..... it's all a bit much. The smoking roller coaster is the worst part. I have more energy, too much energy in fact. In a flash this energy can convert to anger and quick as a flash turn back into enthusiasm for life. Today is Friday and I'm thinking there may be some smoking on the weekend. My evil brain is already coming up with reasons to start.
2 I'm doing the Lomography and blogging which has been great fun. All moral and acceptable but i keep wanting to put an interesting edge in there.... some nude lomography work sounds interesting. All I need to do now is get my articles published ;-)
3 I've shattered my old routine, which has been fantastic. I am feeling more satisfied with my life. The draw back is the quest for more seems to be on the increase. I'm looking for more outlets....
Could my quest to do and be more be the source of mental disquiet?
Tags: life
1 comment:
Your thought process is very clear; meditation must be contributing to this.
Since you are the experiment, you provide lots of subjective feedback. Maybe during meditation one could step outside of self and ponder the quantity and quality of the experiment. Observations of self by friends and family are valuable. What are they saying about you lately? Does it match?
Regarding hunger for more change, if the butterfly effect holds true, you may have only begun. A measure of success is how much change one can manage.
How was the weekend photography?
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