Thursday, December 22, 2005
Monday, December 12, 2005
skirting around the issue
I've turned down a few free drinks and eats over the last week. This is not like me at all. I have a reputation for being able to find a free beer tab (and making the most of it). It's not that I'm lacking Chrissy cheer (although that has never been my strong point) it's more that drinking heaps around work colleagues is not good for me. It's only a matter of time before I cross the line and push my luck too far.
I keep wanting to squeeze all the life out of life. The trouble is most of the impulses I have are counter productive to long term happiness. At the moment I want to sell everything and go over seas and explore the world. Instead I'll be doing the home renovations. What I really need is to make a save point in my life so I can make a decision, see where it goes then reload at an earlier point if it isn't what I want to do. The older I get the more chicken I get. I'm way more confident in general but I tend to play it really safe. At some point I'm just going to bust out in a big way. It could be this holidays (although I tend to chill out a lot more when I'm not at work). It's building tho. Not sure when or where but I'm just going to go crazy on something. The holidays will probably be the time.
We got to go for a walk through a rain forest on the weekend. Nature is amazing. I think most of people's disatisfaction with life stems from being diconeccted from nature. Most of the hippies I know are really happy, they always make time to get back to nature. The more unhappy people are the less they seem to vibe on nature (or they do vibe on nature but just nver get to see it). After a few hours int he forest I lost the edge that I had be carrying for the last week. It just went away.
My year long struggle with Victory blinds (useless barstards) is over. We have our blinds and got $420 off the price. It caused us all manner of stress and suddenly the stress has gone. Rock and roll!
Tags: blogging
Tags: life
I can do anything in the morning
There is magic if you don't try and look too hard. the magic is in the flow of chemicals. I am awash on a sea of chemicals, the mornings are good, the afternoons are not, then the evenings are what they turn out to be. Each night of sleep erases the feelings fromthe day before. The morning is full of hope and optimism. I can do anything in the morning.
Monday, December 05, 2005
Great day
My motivation levels are soaring. At the moment I'm in a stream of energy and the universe looks great. Everything is as it should be and I'm excited to be here. I've had some great talks about writing over the weekend with some friends (although there was little writing done). I think talking about it is more fun than actually doing it (except for those moments where you turn out something that is really good).
This river of good feelling is like a tap that gets switched off and on. Give me a day or two and the world will look yellow and dry. The people will be mean and I will be bored. After I get bored i will start to drink, then I'll feel bad about myself, then I'll decide to straighten out, then the Universe will become all bright and sparkely.
I've started to count down to holidays. Two weeks and I will be off for three weeks. Already I can feel the excitement and joy that comes from having heaps of your own time to do with as you please. More diving, more hammock time and just more of me space.
My wise words for today;
Follow your biological necessities, don't think about things too much and it's all OK. Too much thought is the enemy of happiness, that's why meditation is so good for you. It's nice driving around in a body that has a default setting for happiness, it sucks we live in a society that seems to try and do everything it can to make you unhappy.
Naked people make me happy!
Tags: life
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
There has been dust gathering on my blog
I tried to get my 50K words done in the three weeks that I had available but I failed in my mission. It seems as soon as I set myself a goal then all manner of time sucking things latch onto my back. I could give you the list but that would just sound like excuses (does this sound like an excuse?). I could have gotten it done if I pulled some all nighters but that would have fucked with my head.
The good thing is, the experience has gotten me hot to keep writing this particular book. I’ve extend my personal 50k goal out until the end of December.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the nature of long term relationships (which happens to be the topic of the novel) particularly how to have a successful one. The trouble is you usually need a severe kick to the head to get you moving. I’ve come to the conclusion that it has more to do with how you feel about yourself than it does about the other person in the relationship. If you both sort your own shit out, things just seem to flow a bit better. This is the list I have come up with to make my life a better one.
1. I’m happiest when I have my own little creative side projects – but only when I don’t give a shit about quality. If I care about quality then I start to feel pressure.
2. you need to keep accepting opportunities as they come up, it’s way too easy to stay in your comfort zone all the time. Do you want your life to be exactly like it is now…. Right up until the day you die?
3. If you don’t live a little, your relationship will die. No fun, no point
4. There is more to life than work and television. Run around like a mad thing if that is what floats your boat.
5. Just chill out some of the time, you don’t need to be doing stuff in every spare minute. To really do nothing is harder than you think.
6. You don’t need to think about things so much. Ahhhhh I’m thinking too much about this, but I’m doing it for fun so it is OK (see number 5).
7. Do things that society doesn’t accept – live on the edge, make crap art, make up stories about yourself, tell the truth when you think you shouldn’t, break something or blog about your imaginary life.
8. Try something, even though you know you will fail at it
9. make up a list like you know what you are talking about, it makes you feel life you have some sort of control ;-)
10. Don’t compare with others, sometimes it may look all shiny on the outside but be rotten to the core.
When I talk about creativity here I mean something you are interested in that makes you think, it could be anything, not just some ‘accepted art’.
That’s enough for now. I need to ease you all back into my life.
Tags: writing
Tags: blogging
Tags: nanowrimo
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
8 days to go and I really really don't think I'll make it
Nanomo 2005 will not be my year to get the 50 000 words out. At this rate I would need to spend five hours a day each day until the end of the month. Four of those days are complete wash outs so that means ten hours a day.
This is not good maths.
Unfortuantely there have been way too many interruptions. For some reason three business trips have fallen in the month of November. I had a trip away for my wife's birthday (which was great) and work has been way to busy to sneak in even the smallest amount of writing during the day (which is bad, very bad). This has not been my typical life. Normally I have way less stuff to do in any given week.
I'm going to keep on after November with the book because I still have heaps of ideas and absolutely no block in sight, just bugger all time to write in. I will complete this book! I was tempted to submit some other stuff I wrote (for a few seconds), but that is only lying to myself and defeats the purpose of having a goal. I'll sign up again next year
This is not good maths.
Unfortuantely there have been way too many interruptions. For some reason three business trips have fallen in the month of November. I had a trip away for my wife's birthday (which was great) and work has been way to busy to sneak in even the smallest amount of writing during the day (which is bad, very bad). This has not been my typical life. Normally I have way less stuff to do in any given week.
I'm going to keep on after November with the book because I still have heaps of ideas and absolutely no block in sight, just bugger all time to write in. I will complete this book! I was tempted to submit some other stuff I wrote (for a few seconds), but that is only lying to myself and defeats the purpose of having a goal. I'll sign up again next year
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Procrastination
Some tips for procrastinators trying to write something;
1. Update your blog
2. Buy some beer to get the creative juices flowing (this works really well)
3. Accept every invitation that comes your way, you need more creative input
4. Do research on the internet at every opportunity
5. reply to your emails
6. make up stupid lists to publish on your blog
7. go shopping, a lot
8. Meditate, you need to clear your head
Stay tune for more tips when I get sick of writing next time
Tags: nanowrimo
Tags: writing
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Nanomo update #4
All the advice I've read on how to blog says to keep your updates regular. Unfortunately I won’t be regular for the next few weeks. My Nanmo is really falling behind. Work has intruded the most but I also wasted Sunday as a possible day for writing. I seem to work best when under the gun so I could just look at these setbacks as motivation. It will be interesting to see if I can write the remaining 40k words in 13 days. I’m not sure if I’m going to make it but I will be trying really hard to get it done. I had a work “retreat” on Monday and Tuesday, it’s my wife’s birthday this weekend and then another retreat the following week. At this rate I might not reach the golden word limit
The other interesting thing is that someone wants to interview me about the tarot card suggestion for plot help for writing. It should be fun because I have never been interviewed before. It isn’t an original method but I have found that it is a good one.
At this exact point in time I’m sitting in the meeting and all I can think about is I need to write and that my undies are too tight. It is hard to participate in a meeting when your undies are too tight.
The other interesting thing is that someone wants to interview me about the tarot card suggestion for plot help for writing. It should be fun because I have never been interviewed before. It isn’t an original method but I have found that it is a good one.
At this exact point in time I’m sitting in the meeting and all I can think about is I need to write and that my undies are too tight. It is hard to participate in a meeting when your undies are too tight.
Tags: nanowrimo
Tags: writing
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Friday, November 11, 2005
Nanowrimo update 3
I’m getting into the naomo swing of things. Each night I have been sitting down and churning out 1500 words. Unfortunately I need to be churning out around 2500 words. I’m hoping that this weekend I’ll be able to get out 5000 a day to make up for the lack of wordage during the week. Now that I’m into the zone of just getting words down with out the constant revisiting and reediting of paragraphs it is easy to make progress. Having an external deadline is a good way to get motivated. It feels good to be getting something down on paper/screen. I'm loving the focus and the sense of urgency that I'm feeling.
The main draw back is I have some work interrupts going on a few nights over the next couple of weeks. There is a gallery opening tonight with some comic based artworks. It should be good but it is another night where no writing will be taking place.
Any spare writing time is going into nanomo so the blog will probably thin out over the next few weeks. Eventually there might be some excerpts featuring here.... content is content.
The main draw back is I have some work interrupts going on a few nights over the next couple of weeks. There is a gallery opening tonight with some comic based artworks. It should be good but it is another night where no writing will be taking place.
Any spare writing time is going into nanomo so the blog will probably thin out over the next few weeks. Eventually there might be some excerpts featuring here.... content is content.
Tags: writing
Tags: nanowrimo
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Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Quote for the day
You spend all your time thinking about how to get out of the box but you can’t figure it out. The reason your can’t figure it out is that there is no box.
Plot help for Nanowrimo
As mentioned in the previous post I only joined nano yesterday so I'm a bit behind the eightball. I spent yesterday afternoon developing a plot outline. My problem was getting a bit of flesh on the skeleton. I pulled out a tarot deck and drew a card to give me a starting point for each chapter. It also give me a good idea of what would go in there.
This method worked like a charm and introduced some interesting randomness to the whole thing.
If any blockages turn up I'm going straight to the deck, there is no time to wait for inspiration to hit.
This method worked like a charm and introduced some interesting randomness to the whole thing.
If any blockages turn up I'm going straight to the deck, there is no time to wait for inspiration to hit.
Tags: nanowrimo
Tags: writing
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
nanowrimo sign in part 2
I have a little catching up to do. I should have bitten the bullet sooner and just signed up for Nano at the start of the month. Can I get out 10000 words out over the week end and still do the daily 1600 required? Will my wife leave me if I try (unlikely), will she leave me once she reads what I wrote (much more likely). Will I stop talking about doing something and just F**king well do it. (not likely)
Tags: nanowrimo
Nanowrimo
Given my fetishisation of the writer’s life style I've joined Nanowrimo for this year. I have no idea how I’m going to fit it in with the rest of my life, but I'm going to give it a go anyway. I wanted to write a novel and I'm going to get it done (or at the very least make a big dint in the word count).
All I need now is enough amphetamines to keep me awake until the 30th of November- 50000 words is alot of typing... my current best is 20 000. I've lost 8 days which is a few thousand words. The good thing is the first 10 000 are easy.
Wish me luck!
All I need now is enough amphetamines to keep me awake until the 30th of November- 50000 words is alot of typing... my current best is 20 000. I've lost 8 days which is a few thousand words. The good thing is the first 10 000 are easy.
Wish me luck!
Tags: writing
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Another interesting article on Aussie politics
http://melbourne.indymedia.org/news/2005/10/96406.php
How much do I hate John Howard, let me count the ways.
This will be the only political post on this blog.... unless I get detained for reasons of national security.
Recently parliament was presented with two bills. The bills are Anti-terror legislation (or should I say terror legislation) and Industrial relations reform. Both are to be rushed through without any real chance to debate them. The terror legislation reminds me of the Patriot act in the US. There seems to be a very real threat of the legislation being used to shut down protest or anti government groups as being terrorists. Recently one US activist, Scott Parkin, was detained and evicted from Australia for reasons of national security.... He is a friggin peace activist. No reason was given as it was ‘national security’. Don’t get me wrong, this was before the terror legislation, what the hell are they going to do after the legislation is passed. Even the definitions of terrorist activities are really broad….. Shouldn’t it say something about trying to kill someone rather than a general statement that no one understands. They got rid of 'sedition' and added ‘incite violence’... does this entry incite violence? If they locked down what incite violence means I would be a little happier.
If you want to create a climate where people really start to have issues with the country they are living in, start arresting them without explaining why and prevent them from being able to defend themselves against claims that will never be validated. We don’t have a terrorism problem now but I fear we soon will have one. Currently Little Johnny is saying the bill needs to be rushed through because we have a group of terrorists here now planning an attack. It seems very convenient, can anyone say children overboard, WMD’s, GST or peace activists hell bent on destruction of our way of life. Johnny is a lying little prick at the heart of it, and we are suppose to trust him?
An excert from an interview with John Howard http://sunday.ninemsn.com.au/sunday/political_transcripts/article_1889.asp
In the interests of copyright I won't paste it here.... but he never really answers the question, was Scott Parkin a threat to national security.
The industrial relations reform looks like a pain in the ass to. The “Workchoices” document cites an imaginary case of a young job seeker, Billy. It declares, “Billy wants to get a foothold in the jobs market, he agrees to the AWA”, which removes public holidays, rest breaks, bonuses, leave loading, penalty rates and shift and overtime loading. Let’s see the person willing to accept the lowest conditions would be most likely to get a job, until someone who is willing to go lower turns up, then you can sack your current monkey and employ an even cheaper monkey. Of course your working conditions won’t suffer, business owners aren’t just interested in making money, they care about you, really they do.
The funniest part about the whole thing is the ‘workers’ on the TV ads weren’t told what it was really about. Some of them thought it was an OH&S add others some trainee incentive scheme. The real question is would people rather see an interest rate rise rather than this type of reform?
I realize that this rant is a bile release and I’m bingo on facts, but google this stuff if you’re an Australian. You should also think about how good we have it now.... soon the man is going to own your ass and then it will be too late.
Tags: australia
Tags: life
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Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Ideal job #9 Cryptozoologist
This would fit well with the Indiana Jones day dreams and Ideal Job number 5 Deep Sea explorer. You get the chance to travel the world, listen to stories of strange and unusual creatures then try and find one of them. I imagine that the actual joy of finding one of these creatures would be few and far between but you could have a lot of fun looking. The link (in the heading) is to an article about an actual Cryptozoologist from Wired.
I borrowed the picture from http://www.silverbulletcomicbooks.com/ I hope you don't mind.
Tags: life
Tags: blogging
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Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Keep on bloggin'
Tony Pierce has some good entries for those who wonder if they should keep plugging away with the blog.
so if youre ever worried that you might blog something full of shit and you think about it and you talk yourself out of blogging my advice is to look at those stellar righties on the technorati one hundred who arent the least bit nervous about being full of shit.
.....
so my friends when you are afraid that what you say isnt blogworthy just ask yourself, "will i be intentionally bullshitting the world?" and if the answer is no, then you know that what what you'll be posting will be 100times better than the big boys and girls who get the majority of the hits.
so write.
I've linked to him before and I'll probably link to him again....
Tags: blogging
Tags: life
advice from drunk creative people
I was at a party on the weekend. It was the same crowd that run the art gallery that I mentioned a few posts back. Strangely enough I was the sober one at the party (a rare feat indeed) so I could actually engage in meaningful conversation. I decided to pick the brains of the most active creative people I know.
I decided to find out how they do it. How they manage to create art that sells, run an art gallery, create an art festival that has been running for a few years and in some cases have community radio stations all while having kids and studying.
The essence of their responses;
· Be open to circumstances as they arise. Don’t fight it. Take the opportunities that come your way
· Work out the difference between things they enjoy thinking about doing and things that they actually enjoy doing. Focus on doing the things that you enjoy doing. If you only enjoy thinking about doing a particular thing then only think about it.
· Be light about your thoughts – don’t take yourself too seriously or get too wrapped up in your own thoughts.
It’s all pretty obvious stuff but it is easily forgotten.
Tags: life
Tags: art
Tags: blogging
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Friday, October 28, 2005
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Party Pictures
Here is a quick snap from the party.
I was planning to blog about how much I hate John Howard and his Industrial relations reform and the new security measures they are trying to impose here..... bloody wanker he is!
I'll save my bile for tomorrow. I'm loving the stats counter, so far people have found my blog when they looked for the terms "Scatalogical" and "Burlesque photos". I'm loving getting the referral details.
Today has just been too busy busy busy.
Tags: blogg
Tags: blogging
Tags: Australia
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
statistics
I've succumb to putting a counter back onto the blog. I know this is the path to devastation and unhappiness, but I need to know if anyone is even coming across the blog by chance.
Does it matter – No
Will I cry if no one comes to look – No
Will I post about how I would like more visitors - Yes
I had seen the how much is my blog worth script and ran it for my page…. Apparently my blog is worth nothing at all. Looks like I’ll be working a normal job for a while yet. I’ve come to the conclusion that despite my complaints about my job, it is actually a good fit for me. There are no hammocks, beer or attractive ladies around but as far as jobs go it is pretty good. I get to play with cool toys all day and looking at the internet is sort of compulsory.
Tags: blogging
Monday, October 24, 2005
first post
It would be great if you could get a search engine that brought you the first blog entry from personal blogs..... I've been doing a little research of my own. The first entry usually contains some sort of explination for their blog or a disclaimer about how crap they expect their blog to be (sounds like somtheing I've done. After the first few entries people seem to hit their stride, relax, then let it flow beore turning the tap off three months later.
Tags: blogging
Life as a Wannabe Writer
When, in years to come, the all-time most desirable jobs in the universe are recorded, the bottom of the list will look something like this:
9996 - Land mine tester
9997 - Chernobyl PR Executive
9998 - Bruce Willis's Dry Cleaner
9999 - Student Teacher
Just below that, you will find, written in blood, the words 'Unpublished Novelist'. This tragic affliction is particularly common, and is caused by the belief that at the top of the aforementioned list, are the words 'Published Novelist'.
9996 - Land mine tester
9997 - Chernobyl PR Executive
9998 - Bruce Willis's Dry Cleaner
9999 - Student Teacher
Just below that, you will find, written in blood, the words 'Unpublished Novelist'. This tragic affliction is particularly common, and is caused by the belief that at the top of the aforementioned list, are the words 'Published Novelist'.
Tags: writing
Indiana Jones
Monday morning at work…. 48 minutes of web browsing, so far.
The primary draw back on feeling excited about life is burying your excitement at work. You need to sit still and do very dull things rather than run around in the sunshine and sing loudly. We went to an Arabian Nights party on the weekend. All the girls had their bellies out, they looked good. It was a fun night but I paid for it the following day.
I’m currently experiencing surges of joy. I want to scream out and run around. I just need expend some fucking energy on something. Life is full of possibilities and just amazing things which I want to partake in… but … I’m losing it in my little office. i should tear off my clothers and run through the office naked then never return here again.
At this point in time I want to be Indiana Jones..... I want to be among some ancient ruins.... then later on head into some crazy city to drink cheap beer and eat food I can't identify.
Tags: life
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Dancing monkey
Wohoo…. I’m feeling pretty good today. Dru sent me a link to a great comedian right when I needed it. There is nothing like laughing to take the pressure off. http://www.ernestcline.com/spokenword/
i was at the coffee shop the other day and saw this beautiful girl walk in, grab her coffee and sit down outside. I wanted to turn and stare at her but I didn't (staring is a bit creepy). I was inside waiting for my coffee and facing the cake display. Reflected in the glass was a miniture version of her head hovering above a cheese cake. She looked like the madonna of the cheese cake. It was a perfect little image of a cheese cake goddess, smiling and talking. It kept me entertained while I waited for my coffee.
Currently I’m dealing with salesmen a lot. They are slimy bunch, apologies to sales people who don’t put the screws in (some of you are out there). The problem I’m having with them at the moment is I say one thing and a few hours later they ring back and tell me that I said something else. Any “we could possibly do this” becomes “you said you can do this by this date”. I would experience delight in telling them “go fuck yourself, you stupid monkey” but alas this is not the business way. I’d love to give more details but it could result in problems of the legal kind.
Large sums of money and pressure from monkeys makes me a grumpy boy. It’s a long way from keeping computers running. Two weeks to go and I can slink back to my fortress of solitude and start to focus on more interesting blog entries. For the last few weeks I’ve been flat out at work and exhausted when I get home. I can’t even muster pretend creativity! I can see how working in this sort of environment all the time would warp your perspective.
The good news is I’ve got an Arabian nights party to go to on the weekend. I’ve got my sword, balloon pants and a swanky little blue vest to wear. I'm going to be a dancing monkey and i love it.
i was at the coffee shop the other day and saw this beautiful girl walk in, grab her coffee and sit down outside. I wanted to turn and stare at her but I didn't (staring is a bit creepy). I was inside waiting for my coffee and facing the cake display. Reflected in the glass was a miniture version of her head hovering above a cheese cake. She looked like the madonna of the cheese cake. It was a perfect little image of a cheese cake goddess, smiling and talking. It kept me entertained while I waited for my coffee.
Currently I’m dealing with salesmen a lot. They are slimy bunch, apologies to sales people who don’t put the screws in (some of you are out there). The problem I’m having with them at the moment is I say one thing and a few hours later they ring back and tell me that I said something else. Any “we could possibly do this” becomes “you said you can do this by this date”. I would experience delight in telling them “go fuck yourself, you stupid monkey” but alas this is not the business way. I’d love to give more details but it could result in problems of the legal kind.
Large sums of money and pressure from monkeys makes me a grumpy boy. It’s a long way from keeping computers running. Two weeks to go and I can slink back to my fortress of solitude and start to focus on more interesting blog entries. For the last few weeks I’ve been flat out at work and exhausted when I get home. I can’t even muster pretend creativity! I can see how working in this sort of environment all the time would warp your perspective.
The good news is I’ve got an Arabian nights party to go to on the weekend. I’ve got my sword, balloon pants and a swanky little blue vest to wear. I'm going to be a dancing monkey and i love it.
Tags: life
Tags: blog
Sunday, October 16, 2005
just write
Just sit down and write.
This blog needs to get back to it's original purpose which is to get me started on the writing projects that really mean somehting to me. Doesn't matter what I write just start.
Here goes.........
It's amazing how much time changes people. By people I mean me. I was thinking about my younger days. I had no real plans for my life, not much money and few posessions. I never really thought about where I was headed or what was going to happen in the future. Now I'm older, I have a house, wife and a job and I think more about my future and my money. Why? I don't know.
I have an anxiety about the future that is new to me. At the moment I'm moving into new terrirtoty with my job and it doesn't sit well with me. The option to quit and move onto other work has been removed from my menu. Not because I would be unemployable but because of the effort to rebuild to where I am today. The fact that there are fixed commitments doesn't help much either. I've gotten comfortable with the life I have, I desire it. This is the trap for me. I am use to having things the way I like it and the idea of losing that makes me uneasy. I'm not in danger of losing anything. There isn't even a hint that this imaginged future would come to pass. I'm not happy with how work is turning out for me at the moment. I think I need to sit still in the same job doing the same thing for a while. I need to take a breather and see how things sit with the world. As always I'm still trying to maximise my happiness.
This blog needs to get back to it's original purpose which is to get me started on the writing projects that really mean somehting to me. Doesn't matter what I write just start.
Here goes.........
It's amazing how much time changes people. By people I mean me. I was thinking about my younger days. I had no real plans for my life, not much money and few posessions. I never really thought about where I was headed or what was going to happen in the future. Now I'm older, I have a house, wife and a job and I think more about my future and my money. Why? I don't know.
I have an anxiety about the future that is new to me. At the moment I'm moving into new terrirtoty with my job and it doesn't sit well with me. The option to quit and move onto other work has been removed from my menu. Not because I would be unemployable but because of the effort to rebuild to where I am today. The fact that there are fixed commitments doesn't help much either. I've gotten comfortable with the life I have, I desire it. This is the trap for me. I am use to having things the way I like it and the idea of losing that makes me uneasy. I'm not in danger of losing anything. There isn't even a hint that this imaginged future would come to pass. I'm not happy with how work is turning out for me at the moment. I think I need to sit still in the same job doing the same thing for a while. I need to take a breather and see how things sit with the world. As always I'm still trying to maximise my happiness.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
dis heart ted
I realised the other night that the person I want to be is close enough to spit on. It's weird but those little steps I need to take to get there just never get taken.... it's not that I don't think I could take them, it's not that i think it would be hard.... it's just that i don't.
Even now I can feel the joy and excitement of living surge through me. My life is good. Nothing changes but the joy and satisfaction I feel rolls around.
I worked as a bar tender at the Gallery on Friday night. I discovered that everyone wants to talk to the Bar Bitch. It was the most fun I've had in a while, the conversation flowed and I had something to occupy my mind and my hands.
That's it you can go back to whatever you were doing before you started to read this. I just wanted to tell someone.
Even now I can feel the joy and excitement of living surge through me. My life is good. Nothing changes but the joy and satisfaction I feel rolls around.
I worked as a bar tender at the Gallery on Friday night. I discovered that everyone wants to talk to the Bar Bitch. It was the most fun I've had in a while, the conversation flowed and I had something to occupy my mind and my hands.
That's it you can go back to whatever you were doing before you started to read this. I just wanted to tell someone.
Tags: life
Thursday, September 22, 2005
10 things
I'm feeling good today. I've been thinking about my list of ten simple things that make me happy.
reading
sunshine
hammock
music
women
writing
the ocean
bike riding
beer
new things
I guess this means my ideal world is reading a new book while in a hammock on the beach on a sunny day. Good music would be playng in the back ground while being served beer by women. That sounds about right...oh I would be riding home when the sun goes down.
reading
sunshine
hammock
music
women
writing
the ocean
bike riding
beer
new things
I guess this means my ideal world is reading a new book while in a hammock on the beach on a sunny day. Good music would be playng in the back ground while being served beer by women. That sounds about right...oh I would be riding home when the sun goes down.
Tags: blogging
Tags: life
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
things are becoming clearer
The majority of my ideal jobs involve reading and writting. It makes me wonder why I manage an IT team for a living. Everyone says that you should do what you love.
Reading and writing are the things I love so I should really be looking into that arena for full time work.
I doubt my skills but if I don't give it a go I'll never know (hey I'm a poet).
Reading and writing are the things I love so I should really be looking into that arena for full time work.
I doubt my skills but if I don't give it a go I'll never know (hey I'm a poet).
Tags: life
Tags: writing
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Morning
I just banged out that last blog entry without checking it. This morning I re-read it.... there are a few mistakes but I'm gonna let them stand. The universe feels good this morning. Nothing has changed but how I'm looking at the world. The weekend was great, I'm feeling bonded to my wife and everything is unfolding as it should. Hopefully this feeling will keep going a bit longer.
Monday, September 19, 2005
100 words (but who is counting)
So now I've started to write again. It's amazing how much I look forward to banging out any old crap yet when it comes time to sit down and actually do it I just don't know where to start. So I've started at the point where I have nothing to say. Just type, don't think. It's like the 100 words a day website. Every day you are suppose to bang out a hundred words of crap to get your juices flowing and the brain in gear. No topless pictures this post.... I'm feeling at peace with the world, my desires have subsided.
There was no reason she should have left, no reason that he could think of. She was gone though, there was no doubting that. She had even left a postcard to remind him that she was gone. It said that she was leaving the country, didn't know when she was coming back and even if she did it was doubtful that she would be returning to him. He was thinking that this was a little weird. Just a few dys agao everything was good and now there was a gap where his wife use to be. When he first found the postcard he was angry. Soon anger gave way to hunger and he had some toast. This was going to take a bit of getting use to.
There was no reason she should have left, no reason that he could think of. She was gone though, there was no doubting that. She had even left a postcard to remind him that she was gone. It said that she was leaving the country, didn't know when she was coming back and even if she did it was doubtful that she would be returning to him. He was thinking that this was a little weird. Just a few dys agao everything was good and now there was a gap where his wife use to be. When he first found the postcard he was angry. Soon anger gave way to hunger and he had some toast. This was going to take a bit of getting use to.
Tags: blogging
Tags: writing
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
more of the same
My blog has been a forum to discuss my issues with goals and planning. For the most part I've stayed away from talking about my inner self and have focus on my outerself. This entry isn't going to be any different. I felt great while following the goals I set for my self but I got bored. Doing all the right things made me feel good physically but left me a bit empty mentally. I'm turning back towards the health kick (groans from everyone who knows me) but I know I'm just going to get bored again. I really need to find a way to make life seem interesting and worth while without having to indulge every passing whim (not every one, some of my whims would be detrimental to my life). It seems to be a samll thing to go to the gym, eat well and not smoke but every time I try I get increasingly frustrated with my inability to stick to the plan.
Dream Job #8 Magazine editor (black and white preferably)
Why?
You get to read interesting article submissions all day. I could ask people to write about the things that I'm interested in. I would have a magazine to read in which all the articles would be the ones I wanted. Every day you get to immerse yourself in interesting topics and information. Your job is to keep your finger on the pulse and have interesting things to say.
If the magazine was black and white I could also get paid to look at arty nudes. There are worse ways to earn a living. Are we detecting any reoccuring themes yet?
Tags: blog
Tags: life
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
I'm back
After two weeks sailing the seas of indulgence I have returned to blog. My journey took me far away from any of the goals I have set myself. I visited the land of sloth and the land of much smoking.
There have been some high points while I have been non blogging. Over the past two weeks I have found myself at a number of gallery openings drinking free/cheap beer and feeling very arty in general. I've come to the conclusion that it is more important to feel arty than to actually be arty (although being good at art would be fantastic).
The fundamnetal questions of life have been nipping at my heels again. I've started to wonder if I'm too obsessed with having a goal or something meaningful to do. Who said I needed to be doing constuctive things with my life and what does constructive actually mean? I'm planning to lighten up on myself a bit. I'll try to do the right things... gym, not smoking and the like but still have fun when fun is to be had. In honour of this new found freedom I'm going to post a picture of a naked girl because I love naked girls!
Tags: blog
Tags: life
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
quick update
My spare time at home has been taken up with evily addictive Sid Myers Pirates on the xbox (curse you xbox).
I've sat down to blog twice in the last few days.Each time I delete the entry without posting. Third time is a charm.
Staying Alive was a great musical. I'm not a musical kind of guy but the Bee Gees get my hips moving.
I got to go for another dive on the weekend. No grey nurse sharks this time unfortunately but we did get to see a whale do a full breech. They sound amazing under water. I've never heard whales in the ocean before. Once again I went through my air realy quickly - 200 bar gone in 35 minutes. I'm blaming the smokes I had that morning. (yes the weekend was a complete breakdown of the non-smoking regime).
I have been given some new gifts for the Tiki lounge from Roodgy. A cool stone carving of a woman... her name is Whilma (not sure how to spell it). Roodgy and Detta are great... they would have to be the friendliest people I have met in ages...... Detta has her own blog at http://aitcho.blogspot.com/ With any luck there will be some new photos going up here soon.
The photo is from a burlesque game show called this or that... now that is entertainment (shame we don't get i here ;-()
Tags: life
Tags: blog
Thursday, September 01, 2005
update
Just got cable at home - more posts more regularly ;-)
Just saw Saturday night fever stage show - something to talk about ;-)
off to Byron bay for a few days - something to talk aobut later
....No time to talk now
Just saw Saturday night fever stage show - something to talk about ;-)
off to Byron bay for a few days - something to talk aobut later
....No time to talk now
Monday, August 29, 2005
are you a secret blogger?
I’m looking for any comments on the idea of having a secret blogging identity. Should your blogself be a secret? I started out with a vision of not telling anyone, so I could blog all my secrets away. Once I started I ended up telling people about it and now most of my friends know where it is. I didn’t blog any secrets when the blog was a secret so why should it change now? I do pay more attention to what I post so people I know don’t get the wrong idea. Really I am editing what is going up on the blog. As it is in life so it is in blog. Tags: blog
Tags: life
Spam content blocker, check
Let see the spammers get into my commetns now....... of course this means no comments for me but I would rather no comments than spam comments
auto comments
I hate the auto commenting from companies selling things.... you put up a post and then you get a "hi love your blog check out my cheap japanese auto spares website at ....." Admittedly I would have few comments without them but it still shits me.
more rip offs from other people
http://www.tonypierce.com/blog/2004/06/how-to-blog-by-tony-pierce-110-1.htm
how to blog by tony pierce, 110
1. write every day.
2. if you think youre a good writer, write twice a day.
3. dont be afraid to do anything. infact if youre afraid of something, do it. then do it again. and again.
4. cuss like a sailor.
5. dont tell your mom, your work, your friends, the people you want to date, or the people you want to work for about your blog. if they find out and you'd rather they didnt read it, ask them nicely to grant you your privacy.
6. have comments. dont be upset if no one writes in your comments for a long time. eventually they'll write in there. if people start acting mean in your comments, ask them to stop, they probably will.
7. have an email address clearly displayed on your blog. sometimes people want to tell you that you rock in private.
8. dont worry very much about the design of your blog. image is a fakeout.
9. use Blogger. it's easy, it's free; and because they are owned by Google, your blog will get spidered better, you will show up in more search results, and more people will end up at your blog. besides, all the other blogging software & alternatives pretty much suck.
10. use spellcheck unless youre completely totally keeping it real. but even then you might want to use it if you think you wrote something really good.
11. say exactly what you want to say no matter what it looks like on the screen. then say something else. then keep going. and when youre done, re-read it, and edit it and hit publish and forget about it.
12. link like crazy. link anyone who links you, link your favorites, link your friends. dont be a prude. linking is what seperates bloggers from apes. and especially link if you're trying to prove a point and someone else said it first. it lends credibility even if youre full of shit.
13. if you havent written about sex, religion, and politics in a week youre probably playing it too safe, which means you probably fucked up on #5, in which case start a second blog and keep your big mouth shut about it this time.
14. remember: nobody cares which N*Sync member you are, what State you are, which Party of Five kid you are, or which Weezer song you are. the second you put one of those things on your blog you need to delete your blog and try out for the marching band. similarilly, nobody gives a shit what the weather is like in your town, nobody wants you to change their cursor into a butterfly, nobody wants to vote on whether your blog is hot or not, and nobody gives a rat ass what song youre listening to. write something Real for you, about you, every day.
15. dont be afraid if you think something has been said before. it has. and better. big whoop. say it anyway using your own words as honestly as you can. just let it out.
16. get Site Meter and make it available for everyone to see. if you're embarrassed that not a lot of people are clicking over to your page, dont be embarrassed by the number, be embarrassed that you actually give a crap about hits to your gay blog. it really is just a blog. and hits really dont mean anything. you want Site Meter, though, to see who is linking you so you can thank them and so you can link them back. similarilly, use Technorati, but dont obsess. write.
17. people like pictures. use them. save them to your own server. or use Blogger's free service. if you dont know how to do it, learn. also get a Buzznet account. several things will happen once you start blogging, one of them is you will learn new things. thats a good thing.
18. before you hit Save as Draft or Publish Post, select all and copy your masterpiece. you are using a computer and the internet, shit can happen. no need to lose a good post.
19. push the envelope in what youre writing about and how youre saying it. be more and more honest. get to the root of things. start at the root of things and get deeper. dig. think out loud. keep typing. keep going. eventually you'll find a little treasure chest. every time you blog this can happen if you let it.
20. change your style. mimic people. write beautiful lies. dream in public. kiss and tell. finger and tell. cry scream fight sing fuck and dont be afraid to be funny. the easiest thing to do is whine when you write. dont be lazy. audblog at least once a week.
21. write open letters. make lists. call people out on their bullshit. lead by example. invent and reinvent yourself. start by writing about what happened to you today. for example today i told a hot girl how wonderfully hot she is.
22. when in doubt review something. theres not enough reviews on blogs. review a movie you just saw, a tv show, a cd, a kiss you just got, a restaurant, a hike you just took, anything.
23. constantly write about the town that you live in.
24. out yourself. tell your secrets. you can always delete them later.
25. dont use your real name. dont write about your work unless you dont care about getting fired.
26. dont be afraid to come across as an asswipe. own your asswipeness.
27. nobody likes poems. dont put your poems on your blog. not even if theyre incredible. especially if theyre incredible. odds are theyre not incredible. bad poems are funny sometimes though, so fine, put your dumb poems on there. whatever.
28. tell us about your friends.
29. dont apologize about not blogging. nobody cares. just start blogging again.
30. read tons of blogs and leave nice comments.
if you're going to ripoff/mimic/be inspired by one blogger make it raymi, shes perfect.
how to blog by tony pierce, 110
1. write every day.
2. if you think youre a good writer, write twice a day.
3. dont be afraid to do anything. infact if youre afraid of something, do it. then do it again. and again.
4. cuss like a sailor.
5. dont tell your mom, your work, your friends, the people you want to date, or the people you want to work for about your blog. if they find out and you'd rather they didnt read it, ask them nicely to grant you your privacy.
6. have comments. dont be upset if no one writes in your comments for a long time. eventually they'll write in there. if people start acting mean in your comments, ask them to stop, they probably will.
7. have an email address clearly displayed on your blog. sometimes people want to tell you that you rock in private.
8. dont worry very much about the design of your blog. image is a fakeout.
9. use Blogger. it's easy, it's free; and because they are owned by Google, your blog will get spidered better, you will show up in more search results, and more people will end up at your blog. besides, all the other blogging software & alternatives pretty much suck.
10. use spellcheck unless youre completely totally keeping it real. but even then you might want to use it if you think you wrote something really good.
11. say exactly what you want to say no matter what it looks like on the screen. then say something else. then keep going. and when youre done, re-read it, and edit it and hit publish and forget about it.
12. link like crazy. link anyone who links you, link your favorites, link your friends. dont be a prude. linking is what seperates bloggers from apes. and especially link if you're trying to prove a point and someone else said it first. it lends credibility even if youre full of shit.
13. if you havent written about sex, religion, and politics in a week youre probably playing it too safe, which means you probably fucked up on #5, in which case start a second blog and keep your big mouth shut about it this time.
14. remember: nobody cares which N*Sync member you are, what State you are, which Party of Five kid you are, or which Weezer song you are. the second you put one of those things on your blog you need to delete your blog and try out for the marching band. similarilly, nobody gives a shit what the weather is like in your town, nobody wants you to change their cursor into a butterfly, nobody wants to vote on whether your blog is hot or not, and nobody gives a rat ass what song youre listening to. write something Real for you, about you, every day.
15. dont be afraid if you think something has been said before. it has. and better. big whoop. say it anyway using your own words as honestly as you can. just let it out.
16. get Site Meter and make it available for everyone to see. if you're embarrassed that not a lot of people are clicking over to your page, dont be embarrassed by the number, be embarrassed that you actually give a crap about hits to your gay blog. it really is just a blog. and hits really dont mean anything. you want Site Meter, though, to see who is linking you so you can thank them and so you can link them back. similarilly, use Technorati, but dont obsess. write.
17. people like pictures. use them. save them to your own server. or use Blogger's free service. if you dont know how to do it, learn. also get a Buzznet account. several things will happen once you start blogging, one of them is you will learn new things. thats a good thing.
18. before you hit Save as Draft or Publish Post, select all and copy your masterpiece. you are using a computer and the internet, shit can happen. no need to lose a good post.
19. push the envelope in what youre writing about and how youre saying it. be more and more honest. get to the root of things. start at the root of things and get deeper. dig. think out loud. keep typing. keep going. eventually you'll find a little treasure chest. every time you blog this can happen if you let it.
20. change your style. mimic people. write beautiful lies. dream in public. kiss and tell. finger and tell. cry scream fight sing fuck and dont be afraid to be funny. the easiest thing to do is whine when you write. dont be lazy. audblog at least once a week.
21. write open letters. make lists. call people out on their bullshit. lead by example. invent and reinvent yourself. start by writing about what happened to you today. for example today i told a hot girl how wonderfully hot she is.
22. when in doubt review something. theres not enough reviews on blogs. review a movie you just saw, a tv show, a cd, a kiss you just got, a restaurant, a hike you just took, anything.
23. constantly write about the town that you live in.
24. out yourself. tell your secrets. you can always delete them later.
25. dont use your real name. dont write about your work unless you dont care about getting fired.
26. dont be afraid to come across as an asswipe. own your asswipeness.
27. nobody likes poems. dont put your poems on your blog. not even if theyre incredible. especially if theyre incredible. odds are theyre not incredible. bad poems are funny sometimes though, so fine, put your dumb poems on there. whatever.
28. tell us about your friends.
29. dont apologize about not blogging. nobody cares. just start blogging again.
30. read tons of blogs and leave nice comments.
if you're going to ripoff/mimic/be inspired by one blogger make it raymi, shes perfect.
scatalogical build up
shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck.... that's better. scatalogical build up. It's a good way to clear the mind
The good and bad blend to make a normal human. You look at me and see a saint, the girl that catches me looking at her tits thinks I'm sinner. I'm not really either, I oscilate betweeen all poles, never going too far in any direction.
Sometimes it's "Fuck it all give me naked women, drugs, booze and smokes... pleasure to stop the brain" then it's "meditation, gym and clean living". For the record I had smokes on Sunday... loved 'em now I have to give em up again.
I read a great little blog on how to blog... point number 4 was to note let anyone who knows you know where your blog is so you can blog without fear of retribution..... I stuffed that one up.
The good and bad blend to make a normal human. You look at me and see a saint, the girl that catches me looking at her tits thinks I'm sinner. I'm not really either, I oscilate betweeen all poles, never going too far in any direction.
Sometimes it's "Fuck it all give me naked women, drugs, booze and smokes... pleasure to stop the brain" then it's "meditation, gym and clean living". For the record I had smokes on Sunday... loved 'em now I have to give em up again.
I read a great little blog on how to blog... point number 4 was to note let anyone who knows you know where your blog is so you can blog without fear of retribution..... I stuffed that one up.
Friday, August 26, 2005
warning *boring post*
Abyss of darkness descended over me last night... existential anxiety brought on by no smokes and the end of ‘Lost’. I made the crucial mistake of not doing anything after getting home from work, no meditation and no gym. TV and bourbon were consumed without thought.
At least the weekend is almost here and I can relax a bit. There are no plans but I’m sure something will eventuate.
I can feel the urge to cut lose and get stupid coming on……
What I need are some tips on making life a bit more exciting. I'm seeing a pattern here. My blog is becoming a whinge fest... screw it that's how I'm feeling right this second.
At least the weekend is almost here and I can relax a bit. There are no plans but I’m sure something will eventuate.
I can feel the urge to cut lose and get stupid coming on……
What I need are some tips on making life a bit more exciting. I'm seeing a pattern here. My blog is becoming a whinge fest... screw it that's how I'm feeling right this second.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Quote for the day
"A ship in port is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. Sail out to sea and do new things."
-- Rear Admiral Dr. Grace Murray HopperEvil brain defeated
Even though evil brain was trying had to get me to smoke the weekend remained smoke free…. even with alcohol and smokers every where
See more progress on: stop smoking
Just a little updte
Chrisis in blog land... after the last two very hectic days at work there have been no entires in the blog (bloody viruses). It's been four days of bloglessness. My only problem is that now I have time to write there is nothing that I want to say. i've tried to stay away from the borining details of my daily life and still have daily entries.
The shit that goes on in my head isn't different from the people I see around me every day. I have a few peccadillos to keep it interesting. Everyone has things that go on in their heads. I've tried to focus on the steps to getting around them. There has been some success with it, but it doens't make for interesting reading. Staying within the bounds of the goals that I've set makes me feel good but it doesn't really float my boat (in the excitement sort of way). It makes me feel good but leaves no interesting stories.... so I'm just going to have to make things up.
The gallery shots didn't turn out. Not a single shot. My budding phtography career has been cut short. I was hoping that they would be good enough to display (and there were some corkers in the shots) but now I have nothing to give the gallery people. Without a flash even well lit rooms won't come up on 400 iso film. There might be some really powerful photography lights you can use but lots of normal domestic lights won't cut it. It was worth a shot (no pun intended). I'm still learning how to use the super sampler (the controls are simple but the effects vary dramatically). Already i want to get another camera...the Holga camera with color falsh and a few other nifty features. Most people are tellign me I should focus on the sampler and my nifty digital..... but the Holga is so nice.
The shit that goes on in my head isn't different from the people I see around me every day. I have a few peccadillos to keep it interesting. Everyone has things that go on in their heads. I've tried to focus on the steps to getting around them. There has been some success with it, but it doens't make for interesting reading. Staying within the bounds of the goals that I've set makes me feel good but it doesn't really float my boat (in the excitement sort of way). It makes me feel good but leaves no interesting stories.... so I'm just going to have to make things up.
The gallery shots didn't turn out. Not a single shot. My budding phtography career has been cut short. I was hoping that they would be good enough to display (and there were some corkers in the shots) but now I have nothing to give the gallery people. Without a flash even well lit rooms won't come up on 400 iso film. There might be some really powerful photography lights you can use but lots of normal domestic lights won't cut it. It was worth a shot (no pun intended). I'm still learning how to use the super sampler (the controls are simple but the effects vary dramatically). Already i want to get another camera...the Holga camera with color falsh and a few other nifty features. Most people are tellign me I should focus on the sampler and my nifty digital..... but the Holga is so nice.
Tags: life
Tags: blog
Friday, August 19, 2005
The experiment
Introduction:
It started with getting my dive licence. My wife was off visiting her home land and a friend of mine dragged me out to do something that I have wanted to do since I was about 10 years old. My PADI certification gave me a buzz for a few weeks. The next thing I stumbled upon was 43things.com. I set myself some goals that I had fooled around with over the last few years (unsuccessfully). This kicked off the experiment.
Hypotheses:
1 Clean living will improve the quality of my life
2 I can have fun within the bounds of acceptable normal/moral behaviour.
3 I can alter my reality and make it what I want
The Experiment:
This blog, my new found internet life and my drive towards all things good and pure are part of the experiment. I am the test subject, the poor bunny getting cosmetics rubbed into it's eyes.
1 Stopping smoking and regular exercise are key to the clean living goals. The move from heavy drinking, heavy smoking party boy to non-smoking, medium drinking party boy
2 Life can be driven by lust and the urge to wipe ones self out whenever the opportunity presents itself. Life appears to be really boring without these distractions. The goal is to build up my life outside of these activites so they become less important to me. I'm also engaging in regular meditation to keep me on a more even keel.
3 Reality is limited by what you believe it to be. I was in danger of going to work, going home, watching tv, going to sleep, repeat. Weekend comes then drink, drink, drink, smoke, smoke, smoke. The plan is to step outside of my normal activites and seek out new things to do.
The results:
1 Up... down.... up.... down..... it's all a bit much. The smoking roller coaster is the worst part. I have more energy, too much energy in fact. In a flash this energy can convert to anger and quick as a flash turn back into enthusiasm for life. Today is Friday and I'm thinking there may be some smoking on the weekend. My evil brain is already coming up with reasons to start.
2 I'm doing the Lomography and blogging which has been great fun. All moral and acceptable but i keep wanting to put an interesting edge in there.... some nude lomography work sounds interesting. All I need to do now is get my articles published ;-)
3 I've shattered my old routine, which has been fantastic. I am feeling more satisfied with my life. The draw back is the quest for more seems to be on the increase. I'm looking for more outlets....
Could my quest to do and be more be the source of mental disquiet?
It started with getting my dive licence. My wife was off visiting her home land and a friend of mine dragged me out to do something that I have wanted to do since I was about 10 years old. My PADI certification gave me a buzz for a few weeks. The next thing I stumbled upon was 43things.com. I set myself some goals that I had fooled around with over the last few years (unsuccessfully). This kicked off the experiment.
Hypotheses:
1 Clean living will improve the quality of my life
2 I can have fun within the bounds of acceptable normal/moral behaviour.
3 I can alter my reality and make it what I want
The Experiment:
This blog, my new found internet life and my drive towards all things good and pure are part of the experiment. I am the test subject, the poor bunny getting cosmetics rubbed into it's eyes.
1 Stopping smoking and regular exercise are key to the clean living goals. The move from heavy drinking, heavy smoking party boy to non-smoking, medium drinking party boy
2 Life can be driven by lust and the urge to wipe ones self out whenever the opportunity presents itself. Life appears to be really boring without these distractions. The goal is to build up my life outside of these activites so they become less important to me. I'm also engaging in regular meditation to keep me on a more even keel.
3 Reality is limited by what you believe it to be. I was in danger of going to work, going home, watching tv, going to sleep, repeat. Weekend comes then drink, drink, drink, smoke, smoke, smoke. The plan is to step outside of my normal activites and seek out new things to do.
The results:
1 Up... down.... up.... down..... it's all a bit much. The smoking roller coaster is the worst part. I have more energy, too much energy in fact. In a flash this energy can convert to anger and quick as a flash turn back into enthusiasm for life. Today is Friday and I'm thinking there may be some smoking on the weekend. My evil brain is already coming up with reasons to start.
2 I'm doing the Lomography and blogging which has been great fun. All moral and acceptable but i keep wanting to put an interesting edge in there.... some nude lomography work sounds interesting. All I need to do now is get my articles published ;-)
3 I've shattered my old routine, which has been fantastic. I am feeling more satisfied with my life. The draw back is the quest for more seems to be on the increase. I'm looking for more outlets....
Could my quest to do and be more be the source of mental disquiet?
Tags: life
Thursday, August 18, 2005
saw it liked it and stole it
A quote from Cary Tennis of Salon.com
What comes first, lust or liking, and what lasts longest, passion or commitment? And who are we, anyway? Are we the accountants of deed in the counting house of memory? Are we the actuaries of our own desire?
What comes first, lust or liking, and what lasts longest, passion or commitment? And who are we, anyway? Are we the accountants of deed in the counting house of memory? Are we the actuaries of our own desire?
Tags: life
what a waste of time
Sitting facing a wall is a stupid thing to do… don’t knock it until you try it a few times….it is stupid, but it does something over time.
Everything is a waste of time when you think about it….. doesn’t stop me from doing things though… doing things makes me feel so much better about life.
Everything is a waste of time when you think about it….. doesn’t stop me from doing things though… doing things makes me feel so much better about life.
See more progress on: meditate regularly
How I meditate.
My Meditation technique comes from a book called “Hard core ZEN” – Brad Warner. I found this an excellent guide for zen in general.
At the end of the day it involves just sitting. I set a timer for 15 minutes (so I don’t need to think about it), face a featureless wall and sit up straight, “with your vertibrae one on top of the other”.... eyes open look straight ahead then just watch your thoughtsfloat by… don’t play with them or explore them or even try to stop them..let em drift by… after ten minutes they will slow down and eventually stop all together (no rush if they don’t).
Brad could probably point out what I missed but this is how I do it.
This update is for Dru (I’m in a training course right now so I don’t have his blog address- sorry dude)
http://www.43things.com/person/Dru2
See more progress on: meditate regularly
Tags: blog
Tags: life
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
meditation sessions - how it goes for me
the first 10 minutes the mind runs round all the crap that has been going on in the last day, what someone said, how it made me feel, what I should have said back and how can I have everything i want… then I get 5 minutes of relative mental quite (with a little bit of scratching). I’m always surprised when the timer goes off to mark the end of 15 mins.
See more progress on: meditate regularly
Tags: meditation
Just do it
i’ve started getting out there more and the universe is opening up some new possibilities…. throw yourself at something with your eyes shut and feel what you hit.
See more progress on: live passionately
Tags: life
Is this an early mid life crisis/rebirth?
I'm feeling alive now. Lungs clearing, oxygen reaching brain, all systems working.
I've been given a new lease on life through artistic endeavors. Already opportunities are opening up for me. I've started lomoing my life and getting a bit creative. The blogs, meditation and gym are all systems go. The writing is the only thing that has suffered. Blogs and photography have taken over my spare time. Far from being a supplementary to the writing, blogging has become the primary writing outlet.
Time for a new writing plan. The goal is to produce two articles for two separate publications. I have seven days to complete my mission starting today. If my mission is not complete then my written words will be limited to the bloggosphere where the world can continue to ignore them as it sees fit.
I have my first photo journalist mission. on Friday I'm to take photos at a gallery opening ... no money is changing hands, no formal location for the photos to be published but, if they are good enough they may use them at the gallery…. wohoo
Without missions I become really bored and listless. Work and TV is not enough to sustain anyone! Don't be fooled
Tags: life
Tags: writing
Tags: blog
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
I'm not a 'joiner' but now I have a blog and an art movement
I've joined an art movement.... never thought it would happen but it has. I'm going to need a spiffy new beret to wear to work to highlight my new found artiness....
I now count myself as a lomographer. No not pornographer.. a l.o.m.o.g.r.a.p.h.e.r.
I've set up my lomohome, made a nifty carry case for my little supersampler and have already started snapping slices of my life. Unlike digital tho there is the processing time, then sacnning but I'm finding it more fun than digital. You need to let go of the outcome when you take the shot.... the camera doesn't even have a view finder so who knows what the snaps are of. Sounds dodgy and old school but it is fun. I've signed up and I'll be undertaking missions.... I've even converted one snap to a minimovie.
Give me a few days and I should have some more stuff up there. I now have space to put up my lomo bits for other lomographers... I'm chuffed .
My lomo home is at www.lomohomes.com/uncledoo visit it in a few weeks when there is more stuff up there!
I now count myself as a lomographer. No not pornographer.. a l.o.m.o.g.r.a.p.h.e.r.
I've set up my lomohome, made a nifty carry case for my little supersampler and have already started snapping slices of my life. Unlike digital tho there is the processing time, then sacnning but I'm finding it more fun than digital. You need to let go of the outcome when you take the shot.... the camera doesn't even have a view finder so who knows what the snaps are of. Sounds dodgy and old school but it is fun. I've signed up and I'll be undertaking missions.... I've even converted one snap to a minimovie.
Give me a few days and I should have some more stuff up there. I now have space to put up my lomo bits for other lomographers... I'm chuffed .
My lomo home is at www.lomohomes.com/uncledoo visit it in a few weeks when there is more stuff up there!
Tags: photography
Tags: blog
Tags: life
Monday, August 15, 2005
My first lomo on the web
I didn't want to put up any photos of friends unless I get their permission first, so I thought I would put up one of me. I think this little camera will be come my new best friend. The good thing is even if the shots are crap they still look good. I have one photo of a shadow on a lawn bowling green and it looks good ;-)
At least it's some thing to stop me chewing my arms off when the cravings for smokes hits.
Tags: blog
Tags: life
Tags: photography
Dream job #7 - Pro Surfer
What is not to like about this one. You travel the world and visit the best beaches. You get to do something that you love. It keeps you fit and tanned. You get to be a member of the surfing comunity and pretty much hang out with like minded people all day.
As an added bonus a great pick up line... 'Hi, I'm a pro surfer'. That has to start some interesting conversations
Tags: life
Tags: blog
Two steps forward then one step back.
What topic for toaday? It's all a bit much really... I blame the cat. Lack of sleep really puts me at a disadvantage. Last night I was grumpy and jumped to negative conclusions, even though I knew that there was no need for it. The grumpiness was a result of our cat making lots of noise all night while chasing after a mouse. There is no way I could remain sane if I ever became a parent.... I need my sleep
It got me thinking about people who are trapped in negative thoughts as part of their 'normal' thinking. It's not really something that you can think or talk your way out of. Being stuck in a grey world all the tiem would be depressing.
How much of our little world is trapped by routine thoughts. How many doors are closed through no other reason but habit? For me it is a constant battle of fantasy vs reality.... there are people on both sides of the fence shouting that I can have it all (or that I have nothing). Is the glass half full or half empty?
I make a call as I see it when I see it, for me there is no other way. This may lead to bad decisions at times but at least the option is there for random events to occur.
At least there is no time limit on all the things I'm trying to do with my life. Yes we die, but there is nothing that I **need** to do before I die. I have now to play with and so that is what I intend to do, play as much as I can. in short I'll just chill the F*** out.
If anyone out there thinks they know a way of having your cake and eating it too let me know.
It got me thinking about people who are trapped in negative thoughts as part of their 'normal' thinking. It's not really something that you can think or talk your way out of. Being stuck in a grey world all the tiem would be depressing.
How much of our little world is trapped by routine thoughts. How many doors are closed through no other reason but habit? For me it is a constant battle of fantasy vs reality.... there are people on both sides of the fence shouting that I can have it all (or that I have nothing). Is the glass half full or half empty?
I make a call as I see it when I see it, for me there is no other way. This may lead to bad decisions at times but at least the option is there for random events to occur.
At least there is no time limit on all the things I'm trying to do with my life. Yes we die, but there is nothing that I **need** to do before I die. I have now to play with and so that is what I intend to do, play as much as I can. in short I'll just chill the F*** out.
If anyone out there thinks they know a way of having your cake and eating it too let me know.
Tags: blog
Tags: life
Friday, August 12, 2005
The counter is gone.... that feels so much better
I had one of those little counter things on my blog. Each day I would load up the page to see how many people had drifted through my site.
Back at the start I outlined why I was blogging and getting large numbers of people wasn't part of that plan.
You see I had started to become a number junky. How many people stopped in became more important than what I was putting down.
The trouble with counters is people could be hitting the next button and drift through lots of blogs before they hit one they want to read. I've been past 10 and only read one of them today. If someone does like my blog and then RSSs me, it doesn't show in the hit counter anyway.
I'm off that emotional roller coaster now.... I took out the code and my page loads faster now. My blog is there, it's out there and that is all that matters..... except the comments I like the comments.
Some days there was no change :-(
other days there was a little change :-)
(there were no days with huge changes)
Back at the start I outlined why I was blogging and getting large numbers of people wasn't part of that plan.
You see I had started to become a number junky. How many people stopped in became more important than what I was putting down.
The trouble with counters is people could be hitting the next button and drift through lots of blogs before they hit one they want to read. I've been past 10 and only read one of them today. If someone does like my blog and then RSSs me, it doesn't show in the hit counter anyway.
I'm off that emotional roller coaster now.... I took out the code and my page loads faster now. My blog is there, it's out there and that is all that matters..... except the comments I like the comments.
Tags: blog
Tags: blogging
del.icio.us Tags: blog
Thursday, August 11, 2005
bloody mind, where has it gone now?
Nothing can live up to the fantasies that I have created in my mind. Life can never be as good as what my imagination believes possible. Then I start thinking wait but what if I’m wrong and it is actually possible to live in ideal circumstances. Is there anyone that doesn’t feel like their life could be better if they could just .. ? At the end of the day it is my mind chasing its tail and wondering why it can never catch it. The weird thing is that I am happy. You heard right, I am happy, but I just want a little more. The world is full of people wanting more and just as many sources trying to tell you CAN have more. I’m going to draw a line in the sand and say this is what I want and I don’t want more... but the line moves (bugga, I should have nailed it down). My level of unhappiness is the difference between my ideal view of the world and the actual world I live in. If I can accept reality as it is and not spend time wondering why it isn’t ideal then, theoretically, my happiness should increase. Things can never be anything other than what they are. Everything only ever happens in the way it happens
This is not to say that I won’t continue to set goals for myself. It’s the doing of the goals I’ll focus on, not the outcome. I will still do things to satisfy my wants and needs, it’s the thoughts around those desires I can’t fill that I don’t want to dwell on.
The short version, I’m going to take it easy and enjoy what I have right now.
If this sounds a bit like Buddhist thought you’re right I feel a great affinity with this line of living.... putting it into practice is a little harder.
All this typing is somewhere in my past, the reading is in your present and the future is... well I’ve got no friggin idea where it is.
Have Fun
This is not to say that I won’t continue to set goals for myself. It’s the doing of the goals I’ll focus on, not the outcome. I will still do things to satisfy my wants and needs, it’s the thoughts around those desires I can’t fill that I don’t want to dwell on.
The short version, I’m going to take it easy and enjoy what I have right now.
If this sounds a bit like Buddhist thought you’re right I feel a great affinity with this line of living.... putting it into practice is a little harder.
All this typing is somewhere in my past, the reading is in your present and the future is... well I’ve got no friggin idea where it is.
Have Fun
Tags: blog
Tags: life
How to be aware of your life.
Last night I realised just how much of my time was spent thinking about things that had nothing to do with the next thirty minutes of my existence. All my mental space was being devoted to the past or to the future. How about sparing some mental cycles for my current time and space?
Is it bad to have unrealistic daydreams... I'm always thinking of how to make my life better. I keep looking for a little more of this or a little more of that.... if I could just do this or that, then my life would be perfect.
Thinking like that is a complete waste of time and energy.
I've decided to try a little experiment. When by brain is off floating around I'm not going to dwell on the past or scheme into the future (pleasant day dreams I'll keep up). I'm gonna look at what I can do now or think purely for enjoyment (not with a goal).
The only trouble with this plan is when something interesting appears my brain runs around like an excited puppy and is off the lead before i can say 'boo'. Someone makes an offhanded comment about me and I'll end up thinking about it for a few hours.
I'm going to start the experiment now.... oh look a bright shiny thing
Is it bad to have unrealistic daydreams... I'm always thinking of how to make my life better. I keep looking for a little more of this or a little more of that.... if I could just do this or that, then my life would be perfect.
Thinking like that is a complete waste of time and energy.
I've decided to try a little experiment. When by brain is off floating around I'm not going to dwell on the past or scheme into the future (pleasant day dreams I'll keep up). I'm gonna look at what I can do now or think purely for enjoyment (not with a goal).
The only trouble with this plan is when something interesting appears my brain runs around like an excited puppy and is off the lead before i can say 'boo'. Someone makes an offhanded comment about me and I'll end up thinking about it for a few hours.
I'm going to start the experiment now.... oh look a bright shiny thing
Tags: blog
Tags: life
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
My Lomo Camera
A group of friends pooled their money and got me the lomo Super Sampler for my Birthday. If you have never seen one of these babies they rock..... This picutre is a from their website, just to give you an idea of what it does... I can't post my prictures until the shots are developed. This camera rocks!!!!!
The digital camera has spoilt me... waiting to see the photos and use using up the film takes me back to my youth where you would develop a film a few months after the party....no instant memories here ;-)
Tags: life
Tags: photography
Tags: blogging
Monday, August 08, 2005
Post card # 3
I narrowly escaped with my life. Someone doesn't want me to leave the island alive. While I was waiting to board the sea plane a boy ran through the crowd and took my bag. I gave chase and eventually had him cornered in a blind alley. As I was reaching to grab my bag someone hit me from behind an knocked me out. I don't know how long I was unconscious for, but when I came to my bag was there with a note pinned to it. In a fine handwritten script It said 'they were going to kill you on the plane, Don't leave the island - Thank me later'. A little ruffled I retreated to the Garden bar to have a beer and think about this. Then the news report announced that the sea plane I was due to catch had crashed with no survivors. I have no idea what my next move should be.
I'll Keep in contact
All my love
XX
I'll Keep in contact
All my love
XX
Tags: blogs
del.icio.us Tags: blog
It's all a bit hazy
Ok so it is the second day after my birthday (we'll first day if you count the fact that it wen't well into the early morning) and it was a big one. Everything was perfect!
There were fantastic people around me. I'm really lucky to have such amazing friends. I often don't give them credit for it, but they are great people.
After events like these I always feel like I have pushed the envelope too far. I had a great time (apparently I kept repeating that it was the best Birthday ever). The recovery day after always leaves me feeling a little hollow. The sensible little voice in my head is always saying you shouldn't have done this or done that. I could strangle that voice some times. I drank too much and smoked too much (I'm once again back on the non-smoking wagon.... big nights and self control don't really match very well ;-). The brain still isn't in gear yet, it's just chasing it's tail around and around... no gems for the blog today.
There were fantastic people around me. I'm really lucky to have such amazing friends. I often don't give them credit for it, but they are great people.
After events like these I always feel like I have pushed the envelope too far. I had a great time (apparently I kept repeating that it was the best Birthday ever). The recovery day after always leaves me feeling a little hollow. The sensible little voice in my head is always saying you shouldn't have done this or done that. I could strangle that voice some times. I drank too much and smoked too much (I'm once again back on the non-smoking wagon.... big nights and self control don't really match very well ;-). The brain still isn't in gear yet, it's just chasing it's tail around and around... no gems for the blog today.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
ideal job #6 - Book reviewer
This job sounds like a really good deal. You are given a book, you lie in a hammock until you read it, churn out a few hundred words and move onto the next book. Combine this with movie reviewer and I might earn enough to live off. Any job that can be done from a hammock rates high in my list of ideal jobs... I've even got my own hammock (if anyone is looking for a book reviewer).
Birthday tomorrow
Today has been crazy so I haven't been able to blog anything. The birthday celebrations start tomorrow and continue until Sunday so there will be no postings until Mondy (unless there is a late night drunken blog incident)..... Enjoy your week end!
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
now who believes in sea monsters
I knew there was weird stuff down there. So much space for big animals that have never been seen.
Ideal Job #5 - Deep Sea Explorer
There is no fixed job title for this one. Be it oceanographer, marine biologist, cartographer or treasure hunter I want a little sub that can go really deep. Apparently there is only one functional deep ocean submersable. These little babies are extremely expensive to build and operate. I want to go looking for live Giant Squid and get footage of a sperm whale eating giant squid. For me it is one of the last great frontiers on earth. Finding a way to stay at depth for a long period of time would be great. You get to explore and work with amazing bits of equipment and you wil see things that noone has seen before.....that would be cool. The Trieste went to 7 miles in the 1960's. I can see myself posing for a shot on my little sub.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
postcard 2
The canoe trip was a killer. There were a few time I thought I wouldn't make it. I didn’t find my contact here but a Polynesian stunner (with lovely coconuts) brought me a package with a note. It contained plans for a device to create electricity using the earths rotation and Magnetic field. There is also something about “them”, but I don’t know who “them” are? I've booked the sea plane to the Yuctan Peninsula in Mexico. It seems a shame to leave this tropical paridise bu I need to get my life back. I might not be able to write for a few days. I love you XX
Mindless Secretive Tuesday
It was an innocent enough beginning. A quiet afternoon at work and nothing else to really look forward to but the rest of the working week.
I never saw myself as someone who had any secrets. I thought I was pretty much a straightforward kind of guy. Now that I knew she had some secrets I was more interested in what she had to say.
Everyone has secrets and my secret was the collection of other peoples secrets. I never really thought about why I was so interested in what everyone else did when no one was watching. Everyone has their own secrets… for some it is their sexual history, for others it is what they think about. It is interesting how much power people’s secrets hold.
You could even say that people have their lives ruled by their secrets. Every relationship in life can be derailed by secrets. Friendship is about trust… when you get drunk and tell someone a secret you have a friend… If someone tells you their secret you often tell them yours… the internet is full of sites about secrets.
They say that addicts need to confess their secrets to enable them to join humanity again. It’s like the AA process.
Trust is such a slippery term really. There are people that I trust but wouldn’t tell them my secrets
There are guilty secrets, secrets about how you feel and how you’re expected to be. I’ve often think about what other people do when no one is watching them.
People see themselves in light of their own secrets, to others they may appear to be together and have their shit in a pile but in their own minds they are a mess.
I never saw myself as someone who had any secrets. I thought I was pretty much a straightforward kind of guy. Now that I knew she had some secrets I was more interested in what she had to say.
Everyone has secrets and my secret was the collection of other peoples secrets. I never really thought about why I was so interested in what everyone else did when no one was watching. Everyone has their own secrets… for some it is their sexual history, for others it is what they think about. It is interesting how much power people’s secrets hold.
You could even say that people have their lives ruled by their secrets. Every relationship in life can be derailed by secrets. Friendship is about trust… when you get drunk and tell someone a secret you have a friend… If someone tells you their secret you often tell them yours… the internet is full of sites about secrets.
They say that addicts need to confess their secrets to enable them to join humanity again. It’s like the AA process.
Trust is such a slippery term really. There are people that I trust but wouldn’t tell them my secrets
There are guilty secrets, secrets about how you feel and how you’re expected to be. I’ve often think about what other people do when no one is watching them.
People see themselves in light of their own secrets, to others they may appear to be together and have their shit in a pile but in their own minds they are a mess.
Tags: life
Monday, August 01, 2005
Postcard 1
I have seen the writing on the wall and fled the country. It was too dangerous to stay, particularly if you know what I know. Right now I am on a beach full of native girls. Jungle drums pound in the back ground as they dance around the totem pole. Tomorrow I will go in a canoe to the neighbouring island. My contact is waiting there for me with some information about the fate of the world. All I know is that a new energy source is involved. Will send you more details when I get them. Keep the faith, I will return soon XX
So this is where I'm at
Writing
Personal responsibility, appropriate living is a fine balance. For me I can keep to the straight and narrow for a week , could be two but I eventually fall into some sort of binge activity be it drink, smokes or other. I like the idea of healthy living but at the same time the reality just doesn’t stimulate me. It’s like writing. The idea appeals, I want to do it but I seem to just scribble a bit then stop and move onto another topic. The novel is stalled at around 20 000 words and the rest doesn’t come. In my mind I have the ideas but the will and commitment leave me wanting. Writing is something I’ve always wanted to do but I have this dream linked to success. Success means making a living out of it, but it also requires a leap of faith which I haven’t undertaken to date. It is a fight with my sense of self at the end of the day. I think I’m 22, free to do as I please but in reality I’m 32, married with mortgage and doubtful of my capabilities. Am I grasping at a half imagined future of a younger me or should I accept that my life is not heading in that direction and get on with the life I have? If I’m true to form it will be a half assed go hard attitude for a week before the grind of daily living gets to me and I revert to a tv watching, computer game head.
The topics I want to cover include sex, adventure, nostalgic pasts where everyone flies planes, survivalist horror or dark futures. My efforts seem to oscillate between the tragically weird and the already done. What I need to write is a sexy, nostalgic future with survivalist horror elements that shatters the nostalgic future into a darker future. Easy. The only trouble is that each added element will take from the others if I’m not careful. Who wants their dreams turned to dust, but if I could find the thread to tie it together it just might work. Does this mean novel take 3 or short stores that satisfy my needs.
Personal responsibility, appropriate living is a fine balance. For me I can keep to the straight and narrow for a week , could be two but I eventually fall into some sort of binge activity be it drink, smokes or other. I like the idea of healthy living but at the same time the reality just doesn’t stimulate me. It’s like writing. The idea appeals, I want to do it but I seem to just scribble a bit then stop and move onto another topic. The novel is stalled at around 20 000 words and the rest doesn’t come. In my mind I have the ideas but the will and commitment leave me wanting. Writing is something I’ve always wanted to do but I have this dream linked to success. Success means making a living out of it, but it also requires a leap of faith which I haven’t undertaken to date. It is a fight with my sense of self at the end of the day. I think I’m 22, free to do as I please but in reality I’m 32, married with mortgage and doubtful of my capabilities. Am I grasping at a half imagined future of a younger me or should I accept that my life is not heading in that direction and get on with the life I have? If I’m true to form it will be a half assed go hard attitude for a week before the grind of daily living gets to me and I revert to a tv watching, computer game head.
The topics I want to cover include sex, adventure, nostalgic pasts where everyone flies planes, survivalist horror or dark futures. My efforts seem to oscillate between the tragically weird and the already done. What I need to write is a sexy, nostalgic future with survivalist horror elements that shatters the nostalgic future into a darker future. Easy. The only trouble is that each added element will take from the others if I’m not careful. Who wants their dreams turned to dust, but if I could find the thread to tie it together it just might work. Does this mean novel take 3 or short stores that satisfy my needs.
Tags: writing
Ideal Job #4 - Myth Busters
Although not technically a career option, being a Myth Buster would be aVERY cool way to live. You get to make all sorts of cool things and do all the crazy experiments that you want. You can blow things up, make robots. This could have been Ideal Job #4 -work for SRL so I could make large fire breathing robots that can crush cars. There is danger, logic puzzels, cool toys, guns, rockets, explosions and radio controlled stuff..... what more could you want.
Spiegeltent
Saturday night was Spiegeltent night at Southbank. It's an amazing venue to see bands in. Really decadent 1920's vibe. I kept imagining burlesque shows, Nazis, spies.... the torch singer is really a member of the resistance..... then the air raid sirens sound.The place looked amazing. Deep red velvet roof, booths with gold carousel poles and mirrors everywhere. There was a sprung dance floor and a really intimate feeling to the whole thing. Combine that with some thumpin base and groovers all over the dance floor it was a good night out. Soma Rasa went off!
I went nuts, I haven't danced that hard in ages.
Friday, July 29, 2005
keep it simple stupid!
Stolen from another website
3.6.1: How can I become a nicer person?
The widely-known formula for general niceness is universal across all social strata:
- Be nice to other people.
- Don't play zero-sum or negative-sum games (avoid benefits that come at an equal or higher cost to someone else).
- Don't stomp on anyone who doesn't deserve it.
- If you see an opportunity to do something good, take it.
Coffee Time
Today I had my morning coffe at the coffee shop on the campus where I work (this is not unusual).
In the few brief minutes I was there there were two warm smiles and two pats on the back while talking to people (literal pats... friendly... you know what I mean). I felt a little surge of joy.... the sun was shining, the coffee was great, people were nice and my presence in the universe was being acknowledged and it's Friday. That should keep me going for a few hours at least.
In the few brief minutes I was there there were two warm smiles and two pats on the back while talking to people (literal pats... friendly... you know what I mean). I felt a little surge of joy.... the sun was shining, the coffee was great, people were nice and my presence in the universe was being acknowledged and it's Friday. That should keep me going for a few hours at least.
Ideal Job #3 - Freelance photographer
You get to travel the world, ask strangers if you can take their photo... write off travel expenses, go to all the festivals and parties you want, meet interesting people and you can ask them to take their clothes off without getting slapped..... in the interests of art......
I'll get off the re-occuring nudity theme with the next job, I promise ;-)
I'll get off the re-occuring nudity theme with the next job, I promise ;-)
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Ideal Job #2 - Run a house of Burlesque
Seems like an easy enough job.... aside form auditioning dancers you get to sit in the club, have cheap drinks and watch the dancers dance..... I could do that. It involves all my favourite activities. You could even organise the theme nights....the possibilities seem endless
Ideal Job #1 - successful novelist
This ranks as my all time number one job. You can work in coffee shops (with beret), cocktail lounges or even the beach and you have an excuse to ask anyone ANY question. People expect you to be eccentric and you get invited to parties.... now unpublished novelist is a completely differnet kettle of fish
Bloody Blog
I started my blog to just dump ideas and suddenly I'm trying to think of what to put in it. So far I have an audience of one (... Hi Dru....) and already i'm trying to think of how to make it interesting. So I'm just gonna chill out and stop thinking about it...it's a blog I'm allowed to write crap.
So I set myself some more goals, give up smoking, meditate, pop in and visit my friends more regularly. So far (well the last few days) it's been fun having goals. I was talking to my boss about it and he was completely mystified as to why you would want to plan any goals. In his words “You go to work then go home and do the things that you do”. For me if i don't think about it...I'll turn to beer and xbox to keep me amused. Fun in the short term but no basis for life. Without joining the resistance, art collective or blogging community you have less to talk about, less to keep your brain going. Don't let the bastards win!
The other thing is this blog. Why do people blog anyway (or more interesting why would you read them... don't get me wrong, I read em too). For me I'm just interested in what people think about and what they talk about. In case you haven't realised i love finding out what is going on in peoples heads.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Just a quick post to show a new link... it's a strangely addictive musical instrument or possibly a game... who bloody knows!
Tuesday
It's now Tuesday morning. The whole not smoking thing was blown out of the water over the weekend. I would like to blame the beer or the friends that came to visit but really it was me. The clock has been reset and there was no smoking on Monday or this morning.
There was no blogging over the weekend. I'm torn between wanting to pour out my soul (read 'open sewer of a mind') but there are a few friends who would be able (if they wanted to) to find out about the blog. Why is it I don't want my friends to know some of my deeper thoughts? Is it the trivial bullshit that will come out or are there some really good reasons not to tell. There are three people that I could tell anything to. Everyone else gets the edited version of reality.
Speaking of reality.... It's always a little annoying when reality comes crashing into the pleasant fantasy that you construct in your mind. My fantasy involves the intense belief that I have a very real chance of becoming a writer, quitting my job and wearing berets in coffee shops. The unfortunate side to this tale is I write a few pages (although so far I have two projects that reached 10 000 words) before I started throwing in monsters and hot sex scenes - which then becomes intensely silly and indicates it's time to move to a new project.
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